How to Win an Ugly Dog Contest

Breed Selection

http://www.flickr.com/photos/nycgal/4074320/

Some breeds of dogs naturally lean towards being thought of as ugly. Breeds who are hairless or having wire hair are not going to be thought of as cute, particularly later in life.   Breeds with funny eyes, loads of excess skin, and drooling lips do well at ugly dog shows.  Some breeds have noted genetic problems, that when neglected, manifest as ugly traits. See below for more on that. 

Neglect a Problem

Chinese Crested dogs often win ugly dog contests, more often than not, because their owners neglected to have their baby teeth pulled. This breed is noted for having problems with their teeth, often requiring their baby teeth to be pulled out or their adult teeth grow in crooked. Skin problems if neglected lead to hair loss and permanent scarring. Neglecting eye problems so that the dog develops cataracts is also a winning idea. Failing to cut a dogs toe nails also will add points to his or her ugliness.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/spierzchala/66232046/

Of course I do hope most of you are realizing I am not seriously advocating neglecting a problem for the purpose of winning a contest. I am merely pointing out that sometimes a winning dog is only winning here because his, or her, owner did not do the job they should have. Sometimes, to be fair, these problems started early in a dogs life, the current owner may not be the one who caused the problem or allowed it to get as bad. Nonetheless many ugly dogs are ugly because of owner neglect.

Pick A Poorly Bred Dog

Some dogs are not bred up to standard, and have bent legs and other minor deformities that overall do not create a pretty picture. A dog with a funny way of walking will get a lot of extra attention and support during an ugly dog contest. It is easy to find a poorly bred dog, they are the ones sold for high price tags in pet stores. Responsible breeders never sell to or through a pet store. Poorly bred dogs are also often sold as “teacups”, dogs intentionally stunted through poor nutrition, or poor genetics.

Train it to Look Nasty

If you can teach your dog to snarl or give an evil grin, without actually making it aggressive, you will have an edge in the contest.

Added Touches

http://www.flickr.com/photos/givemethenight/1499676594/in/photostream/

A bit of gel on the dogs hair may be a good touch too. A too tight t-shirt may make the poor creature look even worse. Bad hair cuts will grow back and could offer a slight edge, although it is not recommended to shave a dog just for a contest. Remember the dogs hair is there to protect it from the cold, the heat, insects, and so forth.   The dog in the photo directly above naturally has no hair, he was not shaved.  The gawdy shirt and reflection in the eyes really adds to the photo, don’t you think?

Or?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jonnykeelty/462802956/

If all else fails, you can always get a cat!!!

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