Cats, Cats and More Cats

 At the prison where I worked there must have been at least 100 cats running around. Constantly breeding and having kittens. I told my wife that I spotted a beautiful black and white little fuzzy kitten in the drain pipe next to my dorm. I also made the mistake and told her how cute I thought it was and that I fed the entire litter of five including the mother every day.

 She insisted I bring the little one home as soon as possible. I tried to explain to her that the cats were wild and I can lay food out for them, but I have never been able to touch one. What I didn’t tell her was that these kittens was about 6 weeks old and could still be tamed. A few days later while I was getting off work, I noticed one of the female officers feeding the kitten.  She wasn’t only feeding it, she was holding it as well. This gave me an idea. I spoke with the officer and she told me she has taken kittens home before and has never had a problem with them and they tame fairly quick.

 I asked her if she could catch the kitten in the morning and have it in a box for me when I come to work. She was happy to help. The next morning I had my wife to follow me to work I told her I would need her to sign some Beneficiary papers on a new insurance policy so she followed me to the prison. I still don’t know how I got away with that lame excuse.
 As I pulled in the parking lot I saw the officer at the front gate with a medium size box. I was so relieved my wife didn’t drive out here for nothing. She pulled her car behind mine. My wife was so exited about the kitten. And the officer was as well. She was tired of being the one to always take care of these cats and thought it was great that someone wanted to take one home.

 The officer had pocked holes in top of the box so the kitten could breathe. She told my wife it would be better if she kept the box closed until she was home in case the kitten tried to run. After trading compliment for a few minutes my wife got back in her car and drove home with our new kitten.

Image by divemasterking2000 via Flickr

 I talked to the officer for a couple of minutes, we’ve never really known each other being on separate shift so it was nice to talk to some one different even if all she talked about was cats. I told her about Fatso, he the offspring of Tiger. Fatso had been neutered a long time ago, he was getting old but still held his own in a cat fight. There’s just something about a good tom cat, they never seem to give up.

The rest of the day went good for a change, and a few of us guys were going to a friends house for a few beers. This was just something we did every now and then, and since we had the next three days off we thought it was time to get together for a little celebration. All I had to do was call my wife and let her know I made out of the prison safe. This is something we do after every shift. She was always so worried about me getting hurt and I would worried too, so I never said anything about it.

 My wife was furious. There would be no Bud time for me. She told me to come straight home then the phone was dead. The other guys went on to our friends house and I went home. I thought the entire way home about what I may have or have not done. I even thought about my Lab Pete, what did he chew up this time.

As I pulled into the drive way all appeared normal. Then I opened the front door and saw the little kitten just sitting there, so I picked him up and started to pet the kitten when my wife appeared. Face as red as an apple. She told me there was two cats in the box. The little kitten and this wide eyed looking half grown cat that jumped out of the box and scratched her arm. Looking around for this other cat, my wife told me it’s somewhere in the house and we aren’t going to bed until it’s put outside.

 I couldn’t believe that officer got one over on us. I searched all over the house until I found the half crazed cat in the closet. I yelled for my wife to open the back door and out the cat went . Kicking, screeching, scratching and everything else a crazy cat would do when it was scared.

 We named the kitten Perry, after the institution where I worked. He looked healthy, but my wife was going to take it to the vet the next day to get him check out by the doctor. I had the next three days off so I was looking forward to sleeping in until about 8 O’clock at least.

 It started at around six in the morning , then about seven-ish I finally got up. There was so much noise going on outside nobody could sleep. I have never heard cats meow like this before, It sounded like it was being tortured. I opened the back door and the first thing I saw this white crazy eyed cat hung on the screen door by it’s claws. As soon as I opened the screen door the cat took off like a bat inside the house. The as I was looking around, there was Fatso laying at the bottom of the steps just looking at me. In the yard there must have been ten toms. I looked down to Fatso and said “ I reckon if you can’t get none, you’ll just invite your friend to the party.”

I finally caught the crazy cat again, but this time I put him in fatsos’ cat box and took him back to the institution. I didn’t even wait until I went back to work. I got rid of that thing the very same day. As for Perry, him and Fatso got along well. It was good for fatso to have a younger companion.

We kept Perry for a few years, until one day I was backing out of our garage and ran over him. We buried him in the back yard. We had a funeral for the kids and planted flowers on his grave, but I never brought another cat home from work. Fatso is still with us today. He is ten years old and still doesn’t think he is fixed. Still fighting other cats, comes in everyday and sits on my lap. He doesn’t go to anyone else but the men that come around. I guess you can say us toms stick together. I would hold him more, but his breathe stinks of fish and he likes digging his claws in my chest. Honestly I would sure miss him when the time comes.