Top 10 (legal) Things to Do If You Find Yourself Holding a Pack of Toothpicks

Organic toothpicks anyone?

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You’re not quite sure how you got here, all you can vaguely remember is that you’ve been extremely busy and your activities involved some salt , a bottle of Baby Oil and a jar of Vaseline . However, you’re suddenly now aware that you’re standing in the kitchen, wearing latex gloves and holding a pack of wooden toothpicks. How do you make yourself useful while you try to figure out what went on before you arrived in the kitchen?

1. We’ll start with some cleaning. The phone and computer/laptop keyboards are always like crafts, hobbies, toys, gadgets, furniture, picture frames etc.
2. Next, we’ll repair all the niggling bits of tiny broken toys and gadgets around the house. Toothpicks are great for applying glue to small, awkward, twisty areas on various articles like crafts, hobbies, toys, gadgets, furniture, picture frames etc.
3. If there are small, unsightly holes made by things like nail or thumb tacks (drawing pins) in any wooden surface, now is the time to get rid of them. Dip the tip of a toothpick into clear-drying glue, stick the toothpick into the hole, press in firmly, and break off any protruding bit. We’ll leave this to dry, and when it’s done, we’ll come back, sand it down, then paint/varnish as normal.
4. Step outside as there are a couple of tasks we could do. We all have garden hoses with holes that leak in places we’d rather keep dry. Stick a toothpick into the hole in the garden hose, cut the extra bit off so that there is none protruding, then generously wrap a few layers of plumber’s tape around the hose and toothpick. The water eventually makes the wood swell so that the leak will no longer be a problem.
5. As we’re already outside, a bit of extra gardening work wouldn’t go amiss. Stick a couple of toothpicks into the soil around the stem (about ¼ an inch from the base of the stem) of your seedling. This deters cutworms from surrounding your plants.
6. Collect your footballs, basketballs and rugby balls and use a toothpick in the same way as demonstrated above. This method of repair with balls, would not last as long as the job we did on the garden hose, but it will hold and give you a good few more games than you would’ve otherwise had. (You may want to leave out the tape).
7. Now it’s time for lunch and we’ve got an array of uses for our handy toothpicks. If you’re having potatoes, stick four or six toothpick “legs” into the potatoes before putting them in the microwave oven. A suspended potato cooks faster than one which lies flat on the plate because the micro waves which cook the food, are naturally able to reach the bottom, the sides and the top. As you know, microwave ovens cook from the inside out.
8. Now to make the sausages, insert a toothpick into the middle of a sausage (you could use two at each end if you desire), then stick another sausage at the other end of the toothpick. Now you have an “H” shape. Grill (or fry, which is not as healthy) for half the manufacturer’s recommended grilling time, then turn over and cook on the other side for the rest of the cooking time. Using toothpicks ensure easy turning, even cooking, and will make holes in the sausages before you cook them – something I forget to do, which means more spills and sparks in the grill.
9. Now for the sauce, if you’re using a clove for a spicy flavour, sticking a toothpick into it enables you to find it easier when it’s finished. This also means that you’d be able to remove the clove much quicker and more easily. (I know I’ve chewed through cloves left accidentally in dishes, and it was not a pleasant experience in the least). The same trick could be used for marinade. Use a wooden toothpick to stick through anything you wish to remove later with ease like garlic, cloves, cinnamon etc.
10. There are no beauty tips I can give using toothpicks, however, they are still useful on a personal level. As wooden toothpicks now come in a variety of flavours (mint, cinnamon, lemon, lime, to name a few), they are very helpful to people who’re trying to quit smoking. Just hold one of the flavoured ones in your mouth (as you would a cigarette). This takes the place of a cigarette and helps you get over the hard part of missing something in your mouth.

Now for our usual extra point, Toothpicks are very useful to reach into the tiny holes of our electronic gadgets. They can be used on watches (also to repair the watch bands), clocks, and video games.

What a day we’ve had with our pack of toothpicks. We will sadly, soon bring our series to an end as we don’t want to outstay our welcome too much. However, we’ll do one more piece to make it a round – five articles (a nice number for a series, I think). It has been great fun, and maybe we could get together in the future to find out some more information about how to use simple things to make our lives a little easier, and our bodies a bit more beautiful.

For our last article, we’ll look at the uses of Vodka, so get a nice big bottle the next time you go shopping and we’ll have a bit of (legal) fun with that. We may even drink some for our leaving party. So long!

The other articles in this series include:

• 10 Top (Legal) Things to do if You Find Yourself Left Holding a Bottle of Baby Oil
• 10 Top (Legal) Things to do if You find Yourself Holding a Jar of Salt
• 10 Top (Legal) Things to do if You find Yourself holding a Bottle of Vodka
• 10 Top (Legal) Things to do if You find Yourself Holding a Jar of Vaseline