The Pros and Cons of Country Living

Guys, I’m a hick. I live in The Middle of Nowhere,  which is the kind of place where we ride our horses to visit our neighbours. The local school hosts “Bring Your Tractor to School Day.” Downtown consists of a variety store and “Amy’s Chinese Food.” The highlight of the year is when your cow wins a prize at the local fair. But country living definitely has its advantages—check ‘em out:

Pros:

1. The Great Outdoors. I love that I can go outside, inhale, and not choke on fumes.

2. Animals. I get to have horses at my house—6 of them. And 2 dogs, 6 cats, 20 birds, a rabbit, etc… it’s a zoo. And everybody loves the zoo.

3. Chickens. This is a big deal in my city; there was recently a very fiery debate about legalizing backyard chickens. If you live outside of city limits, though, you can have fresh eggs every morning!

4. That Small Town Feeling. If you are a “good kid” like I am, it’s a lot of fun to know everybody, and keeping up with local gossip is the universal pastime. If you’re ever in the are, stop by “The Spot” country restaurant to see what I mean.

5. Snow Days! Believe it or not, we get twice the amount of snow as our city counterparts. And when your driveway is a mile long, heavy snows means you and your friends getting trapped inside with a warm fire and plenty of marshmallows.

6. Barn Parties. When you get tired of the peace and quiet, you can throw wild parties in the barn. And nobody parties like country kids.

7. Wide Open Spaces. This is great—no nosy neighbours. You can make as much noise as you want to and nobody complains. And I can walk around the property belting showtunes without anybody ever knowing.

8. Unique Knowledge. We hicks learn many weird and wonderful things. I know what the 4 Hs are (Head, heart, hands, and health) and several R-rated substitutions for each of them. I know how to drive the tractor and what happens when the it gets stuck in the mud. I know how to launch a hay bale 3 stories and how to wrangle escaped miniature ponies. And that doesn’t even scratch the surface of the lessons that you don’t learn in the city.

There are, however, some cons as well:

1. Really (Reallyreallyreally) Slow Internet. It’s actually ridiculous. I need to borrow a friend’s computer to upload pictures to Facebook. The connection is known to cause physical pain; symptoms include violent shaking, shortage of breath, and ripping all of the hair out of your head.

2. Driving. If you want to get… well, anywhere, you need to drive long distances. For example, I commute 30 minutes to school every morning. With gas prices what they are, this is very expensive. It’s also very boring.

3. Chores. Yes. Lots and lots of chores. There are always stalls to muck. It takes 6 hours to mow the lawn—even with the tractor. And the fences… oh, how I hate thee with a passion. Fence painting on the hottest days of the year is not fun. And then after the paint fight (Hanna started it) we had to bathe in gasoline. Did you know that water won’t remove oil-based paint?

4. Chickens. I mentioned that people in the city desperately want backyard chickens. They have been sorely misled. Chickens chase you around and they really stink. I hate chickens.

5. Pizza. Nobody delivers here. That means you can’t prank the delivery guy and have to drive to get your food (see Con #2). The pizza is lukewarm by the time you get it home. Renuked pizza is just not the same.

While some aspects of country living can be positively aggravating it is, for the most part, a relaxed style of living that I wouldn’t trade for the world. At least until college, that is.