A lighthearted essay on an everyday household necessity.
Doors. Funny thing about doors. Just about every one you’ll ever come across will swing both ways. Some doors let you in–some doors let you out. Conversely, some doors keep you in and some keep you out. Some doors have locks on them.
There are front doors and back doors, side doors, garage doors, the ever-popular bathroom doors, swinging doors, long johns used to have trap doors and at one time there were cellar doors. I think there’s a rock band called The Doors or maybe I’m thinking of Diana Dors.
Screen doors are useful for keeping insects inside until you have an opportunity to swat them They are also popular with home improvement stores since they are in constant need of rescreening. Outer doors are sometimes solid, sometimes with windows but these are necessary, as well, otherwise what would you install a doorbell next to. Have you ever heard of a window bell?
There are wooden doors and steel ones. Wooden doors tend to swell during wet weather and stick. You correct the problem by shaving off a layer of wood with a plane. Then when the weather dries, the door is too small to fit the opening. This called Revenge Of The Doors.
If it weren’t for doors stray dogs, wild animals, neighborhood children and other undesirables would have unrestricted access to your home at all hours. On the other hand, annoying squeaky hinges would never need to be oiled. Six of one, half dozen of the other. I’ve always liked doors except for the one car door I slammed my finger in one cold winter day.
The only door I’m aware of that only swings one way–that allows you to enter, then slams shut for eternity is at the end of life’s journey. Actually, there are two of these doors as I am led to believe. How you lived your life will determine which of these doors will slam behind you forever.
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