10 Top (legal) Things to Do If You Find Yourself Left Holding a Bottle of Baby Oil

If Olive oil is made from olives, coconut oil – from coconuts, crude oil – from crude (you’ve got to know I’m kidding right?), and corn oil is made from corn, what is Baby Oil made from?

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So, I know you want to hear me say that the top (legal) use for Baby Oil is to smear it all over someone else. However, I’m really going to be a bit boring and just tell you about some personal (ahhh…these days “personal” means something you do with a suppository or a panty liner, but steer your mind clear of this slant. Here “personal” just means “body stuff”) and household uses.

Well, you suddenly find yourself left holding the baby oil (the object you wanted to smear has just run off), so what do you do to keep yourself occupied?

1. Start in the kitchen. Baby oil is good for chrome surfaces, so if your sink is looking tired, or you’re getting ready to sell your house, (or just cleaning) use Baby Oil to polish your chrome sinks and taps (faucets). First of all, wash down your sink and taps normally then dry them with a cloth kitchen towel. Put a few drops of baby oil on a soft cotton cloth then get to polishing.
2. Collect up all your items which have sticky price labels left on them. Put a few drops of Baby Oil on an old rag and gently work the unsightly sticky stuff off. Baby Oil can also be used to remove glue residue left on kids’ work-tables, and for cleaning ear wax around the ears. Instead of using an ear bud or swab, just put a drop of Baby Oil on a cotton ball and rub off ear wax which sometimes collects around the ears. This way safety is assured.
3. If you haven’t got your trusted jar of Vaseline in your other hand (which I doubt), use the Baby Oil to remedy your squeaky doors and stiff window frames. It’s a cheaper version of WD40, and works just as well.
4. Leather bags and shoes will keep preserved and shiny. Put some Baby Oil on a cotton ball and rub in evenly.
5. Now we’ll go outdoors, but before we do, if it’s a cold day, rub some Baby Oil on your exposed skin. It puts a barrier between you and the cold air by working as an insulator. Not only will it prevent your cheeks from drying out, it will also keep you warm. A note of caution is not to use it in hot weather, as it will work as an extremely fast tanning lotion (without the UV protection) and make you burn really quickly. This is obviously not a healthy practise.
6. Now, what did we come outside for? Right, to polish the hub caps, Baby Oil is a cheap and useful polish for hub caps, and keeps them preserved and shiny. Don’t put too much on though, as you don’t want them to become dirt magnets. Having said that, whatever dirt collects, seems to wash off extremely easily.
7. Whatever grease you’ve had transferred onto your hands can now be cleaned off simply by rubbing them with a few drops of Baby Oil. This is why it’s a good idea to keep a bottle of it in the car with a roll of paper towels. It works wonders to get the grease off your hands after you’ve changed a tire. Just gently rubbing the grease with baby oil, gets rid of it like a charm.
8. Before you go back inside, buff up your golf clubs with a bit of Baby Oil. If you have chrome-plated golf heads, Baby Oil is perfect for cleaning them. Just put a few drops on a soft cloth and rub in after each game.
9. Now for the treat after the hard work, run yourself a bath and add a few drops of Baby Oil in the water. This gives you smooth, silky, baby-soft skin for the next 24 hours.
10. As you’re already in the bath, why not shave your legs? Just rub down your legs with a layer of Baby Oil before you shave, to give a silky touch when you’re finished. Okay, I know this one is assuming you’re a woman and that you shave your legs. However, if you’re a guy, you should try it too, who knows, you might even like it. You won’t be the first guy to shave his legs, I’m sure.

And now for the extra one: When baby has had a particularly bad number two, squeeze some baby oil directly to the bottom as this will help with the clean up, and would mean that you don’t have to wipe baby’s soft skin too hard.

I hope that you’ve had a fun afternoon with the Baby Oil, maybe if you have got any left, you could convince someone to let you smear it on them. If not, ah well, you tried; as long as you don’t forget to pick up the toothpicks on your next trip to the shops. We’ll see what we can do with those later on.

In the meantime, check out my blog, The Relationship Supermarket.com for more crazy ideas. 

If you’ve got some twiddling thumb time, look at the other articles in this series. They are:

• 10 top (legal) things to do if you find yourself holding a jar of Vaseline
• 10 top (legal) things to do if you find yourself holding a jar of Salt
• 10 top (Legal) things to do if you find yourself holding a bottle of Vodka
• 10 top (legal) things to do if you find yourself holding a pack of toothpicks