10 Top (legal) Things to Do If You Find Yourself Holding a Jar of Salt

My apologies to all the slug lovers out there for the slug salt maze.

Okay, so you’ve got a day off work and decide to do a bit of work around the house. The only drawback is that all you have is jar of salt. These are some of the chores you could still get on with, as salt has many (legal) uses in and around the house.

1. Collect your kids’ smelly plastic juice bottles, stale flasks and other closed containers and soak them with salty water. Leave this overnight and come back tomorrow to fresher smelling bottles and containers.
2. Next, put some salt in your greasy baking pans and wipe down with paper. This makes them easier to wash.
3. As you’re still in the kitchen you may as well add a pinch of salt to your milk to keep it fresher for longer.
4. Your jar of salt will keep you busy today as you’ll see, so for a quick lunch, if you’re cooking rice or pasta, add a bit of salt to the water, as salt makes it boil at a higher temperature, thus decreasing the cooking time (and saving on energy)
5. With lunch over, collect your faded washable curtains and rugs and dump them in the washing machine with a splash of salt added in your soap chamber. They’ll come out brightened and newer looking, but make sure that they’re washable before you do this, as the salt (nor me) can take responsibility for any shrinkage.
6. Once those are out of the washing machine, get all the young ones’ (and the older ones’) perspiration-stained garments, it’s time to remove the offending stains. Dissolve 5 tablespoons of salt in one litre of hot water. Sponge the garments with the solution and watch the stains disappear.
7. Collect all your flower vases, and soak them in a strong solution of water and salt. Rub down with a sponge after a soak. If you can’t reach down to the bottom of the vase, just dump in a handful of raw rice at the end of a long soak (rice works as a scrubber) get something to place on the top of the vase and shake vigorously. Or if you have access to an old bottle brush you can use this instead.
8. Work on your watermarks left on tables and other wooden surfaces by making a paste with water and salt. Work into the stain with a soft cloth until it’s completely gone.
9. Go outside and place some salt on the around your doors and windows frames to stop ants and other insects entering the house. They won’t cross the salt barrier. Remember to replace after heavy rain.
10. After all your hard work, you deserve a personal treat, so give your teeth a cheap instant whitening (and gum treatment). Grind down the salt as much as you can (maybe with a rolling pin on a cutting board). Add one part salt to two parts baking soda, make a paste and brush your teeth with it. You’ll see a marked difference in colour. This is for whitening, removing plaque and healthy gums.

And here comes the one for free:

If you’ve got any salt left after your salt fest, get rid of your dandruff and get a cheap head massage. Sprinkle some salt in your scalp and rub through thoroughly. The abrasive nature of salt will scrub out the dandruff better than shampoos in wet hair. This will also give you a good head massage.

When you’re next out doing the shopping, chuck a bottle of baby oil in your shopping trolley. There are illegal things you could do with this one, but as usual, we’ll concentrate on the legal aspect of things.

For more legal stuff, visit my blog, The Relationship Supermarket.com.

Take care, and don’t forget to have a look at the other works in this series. They include:

• Ten Top (Legal) Things to do if you Find Yourself left holding a Bottle of Baby Oil
• Ten Top (Legal) Things to do if you Find Yourself Holding a Jar of Vaseline
• 10 Top (Legal) Things to do if You Find Yourself Holding a Bottle of Vodka
• 10 Top (Legal) Things to do if You Find Yourself holding a Pack of Toothpicks