Women, Pregnancy and Childbirth, and The Behaviour of Men

I am a 35 year old male in the prime of my life, living the dream that we have all become so use to.  I got married at 26 to my childhood sweetheart after dating her for ten years. Yes, we started rather young and I am very glad I had that experience of growing with her.

My wife has just given birth to our second son, a gorgeous little boy that we have named Kristian.  He is just as handsome as his big brother Kyle who is five years old.  We are currently in the recovery period from that pregnancy and it has really made me think about how the whole process went from the start to finish. 

Now admittedly, this is not the type of thing that guys are normally concerned about, right?  Well maybe that is a bad misconception and a fallacy that has persisted for generations.  You see, I think that most men look at pregnancy and are mostly happy mainly because there is a child at the end that will be a joy to the family.  However, how far does a man’s thoughts go when he is thinking about the whole process when he is alone with time on his hands?

Beyond the child, perhaps not very far and usually this is where the real pain of pregnancy steps in for man in the form of emotional trauma.  I remember the first 25 weeks of this last pregnancy very well actually, my wife was very beautiful and she was a joy to behold.  This I believe is something that most men would have experience during the early months, she is blooming and looks rather beautiful.  You may ask, why is this important?  Well, lets face it men are primarily concerned with physical attributes, we are attracted to women mainly because of physical beauty, some might deny it and use all sorts of excuses but I stand by that. 

It is this one factor that creates a lot of the emotional trauma during pregnancy, for the man.  You see, when the last trimester sets in and the woman starts to go through all the changes in her body, it can become a real struggle for a man.  Why?  Simply because he is losing the one quality, that makes him feel like his woman is the most precious gem on earth, her physical beauty.  Now, some may argue that women are rather beautiful during pregnancy, that maybe true, but for most men that attraction that first drew them in, is lost for a while.

How does a man then deal with this dilemma of losing the quality that most attracted him to his lady?  It can be difficult and some men can even turn they backs and walk away, and never return.  The man goes hunting again for the physical quality that he longs for and that he perceives he has temporarily lost.

Perhaps as men we focus too much on the physical and fail to connect with the other qualities that are outstanding in our women.  Maybe there is a part of man that will always have that craving for physical beauty, but that should never be allowed to dominate one’s life.

When pregnancy is over and the child is born, a whole new set of circumstances are created.  The woman is emotionally and physically drained and some men are too.  When the euphoria of the newborn has waned, sleepless nights become the norm and the pressures of life remain the same, there is a danger that a man can go over the edge.  

What is required is a substantial amount of self-control to get through this time.  It won’t be easy and if you’re a man with wondering eyes you will be tormented, that’s a certainty.

So, perhaps there is a need for us men to rethink how we view pregnancy, childbirth and the period that follows.  I can assure you it is just as much an emotional roller coaster for a man, as it is for a woman, and it continues well into the future until the cycle starts all over again.