When Daddies Parent Their Children
Most of the time, daddies approach the parenting task differently from the moms, or in some cases, they don’t approach it at all.
Teaching has given me the privilege to get to know a lot of dads–cool dads, know-it-all dads, indulgent dads, single dads, absentee dads, gay dads, expat dads-they come in all types. Some are so adorable you’d want to keep them forever while a few play their role to the hilt which is simply to get into many teachers’ nerves!
Once, during a family day in school, a father was struggling to pacify his toddler son who was throwing tantrums in the middle of the games. He irately grabbed the boy by the arm, spanked him and pulled him towards the mother saying, “Tell your son to shut up!” I thought to myself, isn’t the little boy his son as much his wife’s? It will be a relief for his wife and a blessing to his family if he could help in the training of his own son and share in the burdens as well as the joys of parenting.
Just how much influence do daddies exert on the lives of their own children? As there are great fathers, there too are fathers who miss the point of fatherhood. There are those who spend more time training their pet dogs than their children. There are those who spend more on car maintenance than on child maintenance. There are those who find more pleasure in hanging out with the boys than in personal bonding with their own children. I feel sorry for these fathers who have tame and well-behaved dogs but wild and confused children! Cars with top-quality engines but children with worn-out shoes! Great rapport with friends but a great wall of reserve between him and his children!
I have also met fathers who need lessons on kindly manners toward his wife and children. These helpless family members suffer more than he can know with his temper outbursts and boorish mentality. Wives and children in any home have the right to courteous and fair treatment despite their wrongdoings. So sad, for I know these dads love their wives and children yet they continue to howl or pound at them and the longer he learns to control his irritation and anger, the more he suffers great loss!
While I deal with young children, I know these little tots will not always remain young. Until they reach their early teens, they may still be more under the influence of their mothers but soon after, the companionship and influence of their fathers will prove to be a great power in their lives. Will he be remembered more than just the man who paid the bills? Much is gained when the child can tell others with great respect for his dad, “My father says this…”
Daddies, remember that soon your little boy or girl will date, leave home for college, find a job and marry. How do you think will your child feel when he introduces you to his date, his teachers, his bosses and his future spouse? Will he dread the day or will there be pride and pleasure in having a great father to introduce to his social circle? Happy is the man whose children have no cause to be ashamed of him!
Perhaps, it is not yet time to look that far ahead but you may look to the chance that is before you now. Have you changed your baby’s diapers, fed and burped him, rocked him to sleep and read to him a bedtime story? Have you engaged him in horseplay or carried him on your shoulders so he can see a wider view of the world around him and experience it from the same perspective as yours? Studies have proven time and again that children who experienced all these with their fathers have a greater reservoir of emotional strength helping them deal with stress and frustrations in later life.
A dad may be his children’s best friend or worst enemy. Many years from now, he will be proven a worthy or an unworthy father by a measure of his love, hard work and unselfishness. He will be attested as a man of fine character or the reverse. He will be praised or condemned for the brand of parenting he has shown. When the time is ripe, who can do all these in all honesty and candor except his own children?
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Published in: Family
My World | Oct 10, 2010 | Reply
Nice Post………
thanks for share.
Anuradha Ramkumar | Oct 10, 2010 | Reply
Very well said. I know of some best as well as worst fathers.
Ethics0006 | Oct 10, 2010 | Reply
Very Nice Post
Eunice Tan | Oct 10, 2010 | Reply
Very interesting
Fassy | Oct 10, 2010 | Reply
good post
The Soul Explorer | Oct 10, 2010 | Reply
Liked it! Thanks, likha!
Elma Sandoval | Oct 10, 2010 | Reply
I so totally agree… I get teary-eyed when I watch a Dad interacting with his kids in a restaurant and actually having fun doing it. While there are many hands-on fathers now, many are still wary about how to be involved in the business of parenting. I say they simply have to get their hands down and dirty. In the end, they will love getting the mud on their face as their kids wrap their arms around his neck. The best reward for parents? Their children’s respect and LOVE.
ganeshgolha | Oct 10, 2010 | Reply
Good post
drelayaraja | Oct 10, 2010 | Reply
Well said.. I think father should be a role model.
GodsGrace | Oct 11, 2010 | Reply
Good Post
Bely | Oct 11, 2010 | Reply
good share thank you.
Brewed Coffee | Oct 11, 2010 | Reply
A very good article on parenting. Dads should read this. An eye opener for all fathers out there. What happens later in life has a lot to do with how the parents nurtured their kids. Disciplining is both the responsibility of the mother and father.
K Kristie | Oct 11, 2010 | Reply
Excellent discussion. I just wish all the fathers will be able to read this.
crisdiwata | Oct 11, 2010 | Reply
I know of a father who is more concern with his cocks than his children. Hey! fathers read this!!! Thank you Likha a very nice article. Well written must-read!!
Christine Ramsay | Oct 11, 2010 | Reply
This is such a good article. I too, through teaching, have seen so many dads who appear to be failing their children, mainly through working long hours and having little time to spend with them. They should read this post.
Christine
Kaye TM | Oct 11, 2010 | Reply
so true. very good article. =p
LadyElena | Oct 11, 2010 | Reply
Great post – One thing I do know is that Daddies really spoil their girls, thats why we love them.
bryeunade | Oct 11, 2010 | Reply
Likha your article kept me glued absorbing ever bit of word. I’m a dad to 3 kids and I do my best to raise them up and to be a good father. though sometimes i wonder if i’m doing a good job. i hope i am… thanks for sharing
Dee Gold | Oct 11, 2010 | Reply
Dad should inspire their kids.Thanks Likha
AJ Garcia | Oct 11, 2010 | Reply
Fathers should discipline their kids with love and kindness, not abuse…nor provoke them to anger.
Michal Dorcak | Oct 11, 2010 | Reply
Very interesting article.
jennifer eiffel01 | Oct 11, 2010 | Reply
Excellent article! My dad was a good dad, but my husband was the best daddy in the world. My daughter idolized him. As long as she can talk to hm, she is okay with him dying, she is my rock. My husband and I were afraid what would happen to her if he died. She cried and won’t go tothe cemetary. She always talks about him and she talks aloud to him. Things such as I hope you had a good cup of coffee for breakfast.
This week a nun from our church is coming to our house to talk to her.
Rhodora Bande | Oct 11, 2010 | Reply
I miss my father. Napabuntong-hininga naman ako dito.
Great article, by the way. A must-read for every parent.
Starpisces | Oct 11, 2010 | Reply
Excellent write up here, Likha.
Jimmy Shilaho | Oct 11, 2010 | Reply
You raise very pertinent questions for all fathers.
Phoenix Montoya | Oct 11, 2010 | Reply
A good reminder for all the fathers. Excellent write, Likha.
Eunice Tan | Oct 11, 2010 | Reply
2nd visit.
Nykesha Alexandra | Oct 12, 2010 | Reply
nice ate likha.
papaleng | Oct 12, 2010 | Reply
Hay iyan ang pinagdaan ko sa 3 kids ko.
awesome11 | Oct 13, 2010 | Reply
Well presented stuff
strategy03 | Oct 13, 2010 | Reply
Good Explanation
overclocked | Oct 13, 2010 | Reply
your post woke me up…
Francois Hagnere | Oct 14, 2010 | Reply
Interesting and expert discussion. Well done my friend.
Nykesha Alexandra | Oct 18, 2010 | Reply
Thanks for sharing this. I have learnt something.
alvinwriter | Oct 18, 2010 | Reply
It’s helpful for daddies to know how their child feels.
Likha | Oct 19, 2010 | Reply
Thanks for the comments. To all the daddies out there, more power and be good.
ranjani prakash | Oct 20, 2010 | Reply
very touching…loved this line “I feel sorry for these fathers who have tame and well-behaved dogs but wild and confused children! “…. very well written…
sandcastle | Oct 24, 2010 | Reply
Another great article, Likha.Where I live, I am just happy to see more young couples equally share the burden of raising their children. These same couples might not have the perfect husband and wife relationship but when it comes to their relationship with their children, they push aside their differences and attend to their children on common grounds. I just wish its the same everywhere…
lovestar2010 | Dec 4, 2010 | Reply
great share
Edsss | Feb 13, 2011 | Reply
good share inay!