When we are children we are motivated by fear of discipline and punishment, as adults we are motivated by forces far greater.
What motivates you throughout your life? think about when you were a child, was it religion, parents, friends, money? My motivation is intrinsic but oh so very tangible.
Life is sprinkled with little lessons, like fried eggs sprinkled with pepper. Just as with the eggs, some of the speckles leave a slight sting, while others are blended into the whole of the egg to create just the right flavor. It is this, just the right flavor, that we all hope to achieve, but it is the sting that we will always remember.
Death, it seems, is a force that we gain lessons from at an early age. Religion and medicine are based on the fear of death; caution is constantly at our heels, reminding us that death can sweep us from lives and leave our loved ones behind. This is the lesson that we all know and that we all have sprinkled throughout our lives. From time to time, the peppered sting of death leaves a lesson swirling on the back of life’s tongue.
The lesson from death that I have slowly learned is how the death of a parent or significant other being can motivate. I did not learn this lesson quickly, but sort of noticed over time, after the initial peppered sting, how the flavor was just right in my life. Nothing in my life has motivated me more than the death of my father. Now, I am not saying that I did nothing in life before Dad passed away, but my life certainly began to change after he died.
While Dad was alive, of course, I wanted to make him proud. He was the most intelligent person I had ever known. I went to him for advice on love, life, money, and child rearing. I tried to be more like him, modest, honest, caring and loving. I worked hard and tried to be a responsible person in his eyes. Dad always had a way, though, of reminding me that I was not quite there yet. There were many times when I would say to him, “Yes, Dad, I know, I am an adult, ya know,.” and he would say, “Yep, Stephy-Doodle, you are a dolt.”. His sarcasm always made me try harder and look further into whatever I was dealing with. And there were times, when as a parent, I sought his advice; he would say that all of his children were just “playing house.”
Published in: Family