In our homes, incest does exist. It is us parents who are careless. We do not talk to our children about sex. We do not counsel our pre-adolescence children. We do not make good accommodation arrangements. This article points out the pitfalls leading to incest, and points out suggestions regarding how to avoid incest in our homes.
Why would a brother and a sister be involved sexually? Why would a brother and sister be involved romantically? What might cause such a shameful practice? Why would a brother and a sister be involved romantically without shame?
Having come across such incidences personally, as well as having read some such cases, I suggest the following causes:
- Parental irresponsibility:
- Parents do not talk to their children about sex;
- Parents do not bother counseling their children regarding the challenges of adolescence;
- Parents are themselves examples to their children. For instance, it recently came to my notice that a couple, right here in Nairobi, Kenya, make love in the living room! Yet they have children aged between ages six and fourteen. How will they grow up? Will they not want to try out what they see Mummy and Daddy doing?;
- Availability of pornographic movies in the house. Kids will want to do some experimentation, based on what they have watched;
- Coupled with (a) and (b) above, some parents go ahead to offer their teenage children accommodation under the same roof. For instance, a couple sent Sam, their first-born to a university in the western part of Kenya at age eighteen. They got some rental accommodation. Two years later, Claire, aged eighteen, joined the same university. Their parents suggested that they stay together. Very soon, the two were involved sexually;
- In some homes, boys and girls sleep in the same bedroom, with a TV and DVDs, some of which they borrow from their school-mates. Parents have no control over what they watch. Sooner or later, they might try out some of the things they have watched in some of their DVDs;
- Parents either host, or allow their children to go for sleep-overs, without taking the due precautions necessary. For instance, they do not supervise the children, or counsel them on the do’s and don’ts.
What part, therefore, should parents play in ensuring that their boys and girls do not get involved sexually?:
- Parents should talk to their children about sex, from as early as age four. This is because information about sex, both right and wrong, is all over, especially on our TVs, Radios, billboards, among others. Parents will be doing their children a lot of good by, as early as possible, relaying the correct message regarding sex to their children, before they get the wrong concept;
- Parents should counsel their pre-adolescence children regarding the challenges of adolescence. The onset of adolescence comes as a shock to some children, if not counseled. If the parents are not quick in counseling them, then they will be counseled by their peer, and the counseling will be corrupt. Early sexual activity, as well as incest, are possibilities;
- Parents should be good examples to their children. By their words and actions, parents should portray sexuality as beautiful, and love-oriented. Irresponsible behavior like the one cited above should not be practiced in our homes;
- Pornographic tapes and DVDs should have no place in our homes. Children learn by example. They will soon be practicing the kissing, fondling, caressing, as well as playing “Daddy-Mummy” in their beds;
- Parents should be very careful when allowing their children to go for sleep-overs, or when hosting sleep-overs. They should counsel their children on the do’s and don’ts. In addition, they should ensure some remote level of supervision. There is a very real danger of children playing “Daddy-Mummy” games, which lead to early sexual activity, including incest;
- Boys and girls should not sleep in the same bedroom, from as early as age four. Chidren’s bedrooms should not have TVs and DVDs. There should be separate bedrooms for parents, boys, girls, as well as the domestic worker, who should preferably stay in the domestic quarters. Cases of sex between boys and domestic workers are numerous, not to mention Daddy-domestic worker affairs.
Be smart parents. Protect your family from the possibility of incest. The above tips will go a long way in helping you avoid incest.
Published in: Family