Understand the Need to Change Your Child’s Behavior

Two and a half year old Roy was upsetting his father. He was constantly getting into things. He was very demanding with his requests. Furthermore, he refused to listen to his father. Fourteen-year-old Bradford, most time, did what he wanted to do. He hardly ever came when his mother called him. Many times he would come home very late, breaking his curfew. Although, his father would get mad and punish him he was concerned about his son’s behavior. He secretly felt his wife should handle the problem. His wife cried a lot screaming at Bradford, who only shouted back and then shut himself in his room.

Parents want to be good parents. They want to do the right thing with and for their children. Very often when encountered with the examples mention above, they feel they are beginning to have a problem with their children. Many questions come to mind. How can I be both fair and firm? How strict should I be in setting limits of behavior? How can I talk to my spouse about my concerns? How does a single parent deal with family concerns? How do I know if I am a good parent? Not only parents struggle with some behaviors of children, teachers and caregivers do also. At some point they notice that their expectations of children are not met and this can be very disappointing. The normal discipline such as grounding, time-out, taking away privileges simply does not seem to be working. At this point, it is time for a behavior modification program.

To begin with, understanding behavior is the key to discipline. According to Robert E. Valett, Ed.D., Behavior is the result of a person interacting with his environment. When a person moves, responds, performs, or “does something,” he is behaving in a special way. Thus, the environmental conditions in which the child lives greatly affects his or her life. To elaborate, parents must be aware that human behavior in general is a collection of activities performed which is directly and indirectly affected by the culture, attitudes, emotions, values, ethics, authority, and rapport of the place in which a person lives. Consequently, the geographical, physical, and psychological aspects of a child’s home, school, neighborhood, and community have much to do with how a child behaves. Appropriate behavior is that which is successful in solving problems in the person’s environment. Most of man’s behavior is learned. What behavior is learned depends upon how the person interacts with his environment. Behavior can be changed.