Two Negative Attitudes of Parents That Deter the Development of Their Children
Each child has a unique intelligence profile. However, this cannot be fully appreciated and nurtured if the parent exhibits these unhealthy attitudes.
Attitude Pitfall #1
“I want my child to be just like me.”
Do not expect your children to have the same talents and inclinations as you do. They are still children and some parents abuse this authority to raise and create a clone of their own, thinking that this is the best way their children could give pride to their parents and the family.
A parent with great interpersonal skills may be frustrated with a child who would rather be alone and daydream. Another example, which I have personally witnessed several times over, a child good in music or arts, might not be appreciated by parents who are in the corporate line of work.
Think “Are you raising your children for your own good or is it only for your own ego?”
Attitude Pitfall #2
“I want my children to achieve what I didn’t.”
Passing down your frustrations and unfulfilled dreams to your children is unfair to them if forced into their systems. If you’re a frustrated musician, don’t be inclined to enroll your children into all sorts of music instrument lessons when he’d rather be doing experiments or writing poetry.
Remember, their future should be about them achieving things with their own potential not about “you.”
According to Dr. Howard Gardner, a professor at Harvard University who developed the Theory of Multiple Intelligence, “As parents, we are our children’s first educators. Do not prejudge the child. Observe him.” “What may work for you may not work for him. Respect their differences. Each child should be nurtured and celebrated!”
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Published in: Family
Comments: 3 | Post a CommentPost a Comment
LoveDoctor | Aug 16, 2009 | Reply
Good work. I do agree that parents sometimes expect their children to be like them. For example, if they are talented in music and for some reason the kid says mommy, I want to be a musician, the parent would be like oh no you have to go to college and pursue a degree in something else. And they can be judgmental if the kid has different passions than theirs.
CaSundara | Aug 25, 2009 | Reply
Great article and so true! Looking at it from another perspective; children often want to do the things their parents do or are good at. I can sing and my eldest son wishes desperately that he could, too – but unfortunately he’s tone deaf! He’s always telling me to audition for x-factor or something so, were he able to sing, i think he’d want to attempt to do so professionally, which was my dream as a child. So, sometimes we do share the same passions and interests, but you are 100% right when you say children should be given freedom to choose for themselves.
Sue Atkins | Jun 1, 2010 | Reply
I agree that each child is unique and diffferent and it is through nurturing, exploring and celebrating each child we discover their true unlimited potential – whatever that may ! Which I think is really exciting !
Sue Atkins Author of “Raising Happy Children for Dummies”