Toddler Training: Seven Secrets

Here are my favourite simple rules for successful toddler raising. I can’t claim that if you follow them then automatically your child will be polite, intelligent and successful at school. You will have given the toddler a good start in life and in the skills required for the early years at school. It is amazing how many parents don’t bother about these simple guidelines.

1) Everyday, read to your toddler.

Take time to sit and read stories and poems to your toddler. It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give them. Read and reread stories to them. Children love the repetition and very soon will object if you try to miss bits out. Try to dramatise the story by putting on accents and different voices but remember to keep the same voice for a character every time.

Take your toddler to the local library and enrol him/her. You will then have access to a huge number of books and your toddler can borrow. Usually toddlers can borrow four or five at a time. Most libraries have “storytimes” when children sit on the floor and experienced storytellers either read books to the children or tell stories. The toddlers can then be lead in a discussion about the story and the moral of the story.

All this helps the development of the toddlers listening and language skills, not to mention the child’s imaginative abilities.

2) Everday sing with your toddler – simple songs, nursery rhymes etc.

Children love music and rhythm. If you sing to them and do it regularly you will discover that before very long you are singing with them. Children learn the words very quickly. If you sing these songs a few times you will be surprised at how quickly you hear your toddler singing songs to himself/herself. You are opening your child to the world of music. What a precious gift that is you will be giving your child!

Make sure that you use children’s songs and rhymes in the local dialect and not just songs in standard English. Children love the sounds and words of these dialects and it is good to keep the old, traditional rhymes alive.

3) When you eat, sit round a dining table and talk – no television!

Try as often as you can to have the whole family eat together. It does n’t have to be round a table although that is always best. You can sit round the room if there is no table but the absolute must is – NO TELEVISION! The mealtime is ideal time for conversation and talk. You can talk about what’s happened during the day or the plans and hopes for the day. It is your chance to really get to know your toddler.

Another benefit is that you can teach the toddler table manners and give them practice using cutlery. Some primary schools report that children arrive at school with no experience whatever of eating at a table with others. Some of these pupils had never even used cutlery before. This really is your chance to teach them how to behave in public.

4) Try to take your toddler to a restaurant regularly to teach him/her how to behave in public.

I’m not talking about McDonald’s here, or KFC’s. I’m talking about a good quality restaurant but it doesn’t have to be expensive – just a place where food is served quietly round a table with appropriate cutlery. This allows the child to see people behaving quietly and politely in public. The child is being shown how to behave.

Many restaurants now have a children’s corner with quiet games and activities. Your toddler will become restive – even the best behaved can become fractious and hard to handle. If this happens you can send them to play in the kiddies corner where they will be occupied and still be under your supervision.

5) Your toddler will copy you. Mind your language and watch how you act and behave.

This really is a “no-brainer”. The trouble is that many sets of parents or guardians are oblivious to it. Children copy adults – but they copy the bad examples much more qickly and accurately. If you argue with someone or swear at them don’t be at all surprised if you hear your toddler copy that a short while later.

I remember hearing about one young father who had row with a shop assistant when shopping with his three year old son. He finished the row by telling the shop assistant to “just bugger off!” He thought no more about it until a very elderly and polite maiden aunt was visiting them . To his horror and embarrassment he heard the child tell the maiden aunt to “Just bugger off!”! The invariable rule is that it will come back to bite you at the most awkward and embarrassing moment. So be warned!

6) Turn off the television.

When you are watching television your brain acts in a way very similar to the way it acts when falling asleep. So when you let a child watch a lot of television you are actually training the child to become mentally inactive. Do not do this.

But if you must let your toddler watch a lot of television at least watch with them and discuss the programme with the child. This at least will keep the toddler’s brain working. Avoid cartoons. Instead go for educational programmes. In the UK the BBC’s CBeebies channel is particularly good. It concentrates on demonstrating activities which the children can try for themselves.

7) Encourage you child to be active.

Physical activity is essential. Get your child playing active games – especially in the fresh air. Visit playparks, feed the ducks , kick a ball around – these are simple inexpensive things to do but they are great for your child. Do them together and talk about them with your toddler. You won’t regret it!