What’s you parenting style? Learn the four basic styles of parenting and the likely outcomes of each.
The Uninvolved Parented Child
The uninvolved parenting style is often inherited from one generation to the next. The children in these families typically grow into adults who have a hard time forming attachments to others later in life. These children report feeling unimportant and often believe their parents do not care about them. This gives rise to low self-esteem, which often last well into adulthood. Social skills and school performance are typically poor. These children are also more likely to be aggressive, have behavioral problems, and show defiance toward authority figures.
Children whose parents are uninvolved tend to have a harder time forming attachments to people later in life. This often includes their children. This particular parenting style is easily inherited from one generation to the next as these children grow to repeat the same patterns they were raised with. These children often feel that they are unimportant, and their parents do not care about them, giving way to low self-esteem. School performance is typically poor and social skills lacking. These children are more likely to be aggressive and have behavioral problems. They are often defiant to authority figures and more prone to drug and alcohol use.
I Care, Therefore, I Limit: The Authoritative Parent
The authoritative parenting style is both responsive and demanding. These parents allow enough freedom of expression for children to develop a sense of independence. Yet, they are assertive enough to maintain authority and stay in control. Mature behavior is expected, and discipline tends to be supportive rather than punitive.
Authoritative parents believe in developing close relationships with their children through nurturing while maintain a reasonably high level of expectations. This parenting style is all about balance. The authoritative parent s view themselves as role-models and the parent-child dynamic as a two way relationship. Though the children are encouraged to express their feelings, the authoritative parent is far from a pushover. The final decision is always the parents.
The Balancing Act: Children Raised By Authoritative Parents
Research suggests that children raised primarily under the authoritative style are often better adjusted then those raised under other parenting styles. They tend to rank higher in social competence, maturity, self-esteem, and self control. In childhood, these children learn to problem solve, make healthy decisions, and function in a structured environment.
The authoritative parenting style has it downfalls as well. It requires a high degree of patience and should be reviewed periodically to ensure the household rules keep up with children as they grow. Proving children with the opportunity to voice their questions and opinions can sometimes be difficult because parents do not always have the answers or feel they need to justify their decisions. Most authoritative parents feel, however, that the work is well worth it as gain obedience from their children through respect rather than through fear.
A Final Note
Unfortunately, there is no magic formula to ensure your child will grow into a healthy, happy, and successful adult. Knowledge about the different parenting styles and outcomes may help you to make an informed decision regarding which style of parenting is right for you. It is important to remember, however, that there are no certainties. Parenting is complicated and every child is unique. Add to this the varied family dynamics with shared custody arrangements, co-parenting dynamics, etc. and it is impossible to predict with any real accuracy just how your child will turn out. Ultimately, it is up to you to decide which style of parenting works best for you. After all, the best families are happy families.
Published in: Family