The Four Parenting Styles

What’s you parenting style? Learn the four basic styles of parenting and the likely outcomes of each.

The Uninvolved Parented Child

The uninvolved parenting style is often inherited from one generation to the next. The children in these families typically grow into adults who have a hard time forming attachments to others later in life. These children report feeling unimportant and often believe their parents do not care about them. This gives rise to low self-esteem, which often last well into adulthood. Social skills and school performance are typically poor. These children are also more likely to be aggressive, have behavioral problems, and show defiance toward authority figures.

Children whose parents are uninvolved tend to have a harder time forming attachments to people later in life. This often includes their children. This particular parenting style is easily inherited from one generation to the next as these children grow to repeat the same patterns they were raised with.  These children often feel that they are unimportant, and their parents do not care about them, giving way to low self-esteem.  School performance is typically poor and social skills lacking. These children are more likely to be aggressive and have behavioral problems. They are often defiant to authority figures and more prone to drug and alcohol use.

I Care, Therefore, I Limit: The Authoritative Parent

The authoritative parenting style is both responsive and demanding. These parents allow enough freedom of expression for children to develop a sense of independence. Yet, they are assertive enough to maintain authority and stay in control. Mature behavior is expected, and discipline tends to be supportive rather than punitive.

Authoritative parents believe in developing close relationships with their children through nurturing while maintain a reasonably high level of expectations. This parenting style is all about balance. The authoritative parent s view themselves as role-models and the parent-child dynamic as a two way relationship. Though the children are encouraged to express their feelings, the authoritative parent is far from a pushover. The final decision is always the parents.

The Balancing Act: Children Raised By Authoritative Parents

Research suggests that children raised primarily under the authoritative style are often better adjusted then those raised under other parenting styles. They tend to rank higher in social competence, maturity, self-esteem, and self control. In childhood, these children learn to problem solve, make healthy decisions, and function in a structured environment.

The authoritative parenting style has it downfalls as well. It requires a high degree of patience and should be reviewed periodically to ensure the household rules keep up with children as they grow. Proving children with the opportunity to voice their questions and opinions can sometimes be difficult because parents do not always have the answers or feel they need to justify their decisions. Most authoritative parents feel, however, that the work is well worth it as gain obedience from their children through respect rather than through fear.

A Final Note

Unfortunately, there is no magic formula to ensure your child will grow into a healthy, happy, and successful adult. Knowledge about the different parenting styles and outcomes may help you to make an informed decision regarding which style of parenting is right for you. It is important to remember, however, that there are no certainties. Parenting is complicated and every child is unique. Add to this the varied family dynamics with shared custody arrangements, co-parenting dynamics, etc. and it is impossible to predict with any real accuracy just how your child will turn out. Ultimately, it is up to you to decide which style of parenting works best for you. After all, the best families are happy families.

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Published in: Family


RSSComments: 7  |  Post a Comment
  1. You have discussed some important information in this article .I appreciate it.

  2. Parenting is not an easy job. Expecially when people tend to interefere. I admit I was a bit of the authorative parent however I talked to my kids. With my son I was more passive thinking I had learned from the other kids however as you wrote each child is different.

  3. Interesting information. Thanks for sharing:)

  4. It would be useful for me when I become a parent, which would be after a decade. Until then, I love being a kid.

  5. Parenting is an extreme responsibility. I agree with the theories you put forth here. The true wisdom of it all is that each child is different and sometimes what is good for one is not for another. Sometimes a blend is advisable. Most of all a sense that our children are not our possessions, but gifts loaned to us for the short term that we are to tend and nurture.

  6. That was quite long and I guess it doesn’t deserve a very short comment. I have actually written the same article, but that’s only 500 words long as demanded by my client. Well written and it’s full of useful information. I find them very interesting because I am going to be a future teacher someday and as a second parent, I would really like to first understand the do’s and don’ts not only in teaching but as well as in parenting. I’ll read this again for future reference.

  7. Very true that parenting is no mean task. It has a multiplicity of challenges, some of which we can do nothing. Great, authoritative article.

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