What’s you parenting style? Learn the four basic styles of parenting and the likely outcomes of each.
No Upset Child Left Behind: The Permissive Parent
Almost the exact opposite of the authoritarian parent is the permissive parent. These parents often have lower expectations than the authoritarian parent and make fewer demands. Permissive parents rarely discipline their children and allow for considerable self-regulation. They tend to avoid confrontation with the child as much as possible. These parents tend to believe that if they put their child in charge of their own behavior, it will foster independence. Unfortunately, most permissive parents learn too late that just the opposite is true. Allowing children to run the show often brings about a complete loss of parental control.
There are quite often false beliefs that spur the actions of the permissive parent. Some of these include:
• If I don’t do what my child wants they won’t love me.
• Going along with what my children want will ensure that they love me.
• I can avoid problems with my child if I give them what they want.
• A good way to resolve conflict is to give in.
• Giving in to my children lets them know they are important to me.
• I don’t want to be authoritarian so the only other choice is to be permissive.
The truth of the matter is that children are the epitome of unconditional love. They are in need of guidelines and limits. Providing these will not cause your child to hate you. Rules, boundaries, and limitations are the best way of teaching your child respect for authority and self-control.
Permissive parents are quite often viewed by outsiders looking in as neglectful and lazy. In many cases, however, this is far from the truth. Remember, this type of parenting style is quite often based on a faulty belief but, the goal of these parents remains to raise their children into happy, healthy, and successful adults. Parents who are permissive in their parenting style are often quite nurturing and loving. In fact, their children are more likely to be the very center of their lives. These parents enjoy doing for their children to such a degree that they forget the importance of teaching the child to do for themselves. They may befriend their child, thinking that this is the best way to build a good relationship with them. This, unfortunately, places the child as an equal and does not provided the parent-child dynamic that children need.
Published in: Family