The Changes That Babies Bring to Life

While some of us think life ends after babies, many also believe that marriage is the end of one’s existence. I belonged to this category too. To me marriage was the end of freedom and everything good that came with it. It used to depress me when I looked at women holding their children’s little fingers and being lead by them. I always thought that after babies, there’s nothing left to life. Also, that anything would ever make you happy after that.

It didn’t take me long to realize that I was so wrong. Although a lot of things change after having a baby, but that doesn’t stop you from living to the t. In fact, babies keep life interesting and they become a reason for us to live. Every day you smile a thousand times just looking at the small cute activities they do. It is a lot of hard work, but, it’s worth it.

Yes life does change, but, not in a negative way. Change is inevitable. A career move will bring on change, even a change in weather or scene is bound to twist your routine a little. Then why is there such a hoo haa about the change that is brought on with marriage and kids???

The reality is.. we don’t want to accept change that comes with kids. We adapt eagerly to changes related to other areas but when it comes to these two, we shudder at the thought. So, it’s not about change, it’s about adapting to it in a decent way. It’s not about surrender, it’s about acceptance.

Let’s take a look at a few things that change.

Preconceived Notion: “If you don’t sleep, you die”

Your sleep cycle gets the real bashing. Forget getting out of bed late on a day off.  Totally let go of the habit of going to sleep when you are sleepy. Your sleep is now secondary to the small creature’s which you so willingly introduced to this world. The good thing is…you are never lazy, even, when you want to.  As a result, you not only get the baby’s things done on time, you also finish your work. In a matter of days you will get used to this sleep deprivation.

You Are Not Light as a Feather Anymore

You have a few extra pounds on you. Your body is not what it used to be and it’s pulling you down. Well, you have an excuse and everybody knows its “baby fat” (fat piled up because of having a baby). If it was the “real” baby fat, you would feel guilty and embarrassed.  This is like licensed fat. For the first time in years, eat all you want. Just don’t lose the determination to get rid of it when you can.

You Are Tied Up

Going out has become an issue all of a sudden. You can’t just grab your coat and walk out that door. Now you have to get the little one dressed up, stuff his /her changing bag with nappies and wipes etc, prepare a bottle of milk and when you are all done, grab that coat at the last moment and leave.

The brighter side can only be that you have company and a little something to show off besides yourself, of course.

Shopping Habits

All of a sudden you start noticing the baby sections of a store. You are amazed every time at how you never thought Next had a babies range. You enter a shop to buy something for yourself but end up buying everything small. You know you have forgotten something and when you are trying to recall what it is, you hear yourself saying “we’ve got nappies, food, wipes etc.  then what is it”. It’s actually YOU… You have forgotten your needs and will only remember them when you get home.

Did you ever know that there was such a selfless side to you? Did you ever imagine you were so responsible? The truth is, your abilities hadn’t been tested till now.

Keeping Up with Single Friends

This is the worst hit area. You will find yourself all alone, all of a sudden. Your single friends still have the same theories about marriage and babies which you had. They will cringe at a chance of spending some time with you because your obsession with your baby is hard for them to understand. They will call each other up and say that you have changed and aren’t fun anymore. Some of them will get themselves alienated and would stay away so they don’t have to listen to your mummy talk. They will find other not- so -close friends and replace you either temporarily or permanently.  This is when you realize, that, you need more friends. Your definition of a friend changes too. You want someone in a similar situation, someone you can talk to, someone who will understand what you are going through and you don’t have to say it loud for them to hear.  That “someone” can only be another mummy. So, you have graduated from a careless, carefree, singleton to a responsible, motivated, and a dedicated married woman.

What About the Already Married Friends?

Well… there’s trouble on this front too. Those who have been married for a long long time will be there for you. Although you are not very close to them anymore, as, when they got married, you gave them the same treatment what your single friends are putting you through now. So, although they are there, they still don’t know about your sudden transition into their world. You need to catch up with them and bring them up to date on your situation. In the given circumstances, that’s not very easy, as, one thing you don’t have is “time”. So that’s a lost cause.

As for the friends who got married around the time you did, and have a baby to care for, are now competitive mommies who think they are the best. They will question your bringing up techniques as a mother, or, where they fall short they will make it your short coming. It will be a while before they snap out of it.

If it’s any consolation, I would say what goes round comes around. You have been there, done that, so, move on.

Too Many Roles

With the emergence of this little creature came a thousand roles for you to fit in. You are now a mother too. Which means you are a nurse, a baby sitter, a cook (who prepares specialized meals for the baby), a cleaner etc. It’s your chance of excelling in all these areas because the little body needs nothing but perfection. You can’t take a chance here.  Yet you will always think you are a Jack of all trades but  master of none.

Entertainment Options

 Gone are the days when you and your hubby could go to the movies and relax. Cinema is a total no no. Your cute little muffin’s baby talk might be music to your ears but other people won’t appreciate all the sounds in the middle of a movie. Not to mention crying, nappy change situation and feeding. You have to plan your outings around them now. So you will see yourself going to your friends’ or your relatives more often than other places.

There are a lot of small things that change. Some of them will come back while others change for good. It all becomes easy when you embrace the fact that that’s who you are now. If friends are trying to tell you, you are not “cool” anymore. Move on and join the “hot mommies” league.