Ten Tips to Build Self-Esteem in Your Child

Building self-esteem in your child is one of the greatest gifts you can give. Children with self-esteem grow up to be adults who can act independently, be responsible, tolerate frustration well, try new experiences, make friends and handle negative and positive emotions. They feel they belong and are needed and necessary. Positive self-esteem is important to your child’s mental health.

Below are tips to help build self-esteem in your child.

1. Begin as babies – Babies begin developing a sense of love and acceptance from the moment they are born. Hold your baby when she cries, smile, touch her lovingly and speak to her in a soft, caring voice. As they grow, babies begin to feel loved and accepted by their parents
2. Say “I love you” – Tell your child often that you love her and are happy she is a part of the family. Say it with words and with actions. Give her a hug, smile at her, pat her on the back. Acceptance in the family goes a long way in making your child feel good about herself.
3. Spend time with your child – Put aside some time every day to spend time with your child. Play a game, bike ride or play catch. This makes your child feel he is important to you. It is also a great time to connect and share daily experiences. When children are relaxed, they tend to talk more than at other times. Listen to your child without criticizing. Feeling they can trust their thoughts and feelings with you will go a long way in keeping the lines of communication open in later years.
4. Encourage friendships – Make your child’s friends welcome in your home and get to know them. Having a group of friends your child feels close to will help him feel secure when he is away from home or at school.
5. Show interest in their school and schoolwork – Studies show that children do better in school if their parents are interested and involved. Go to school conferences, meet your child’s teachers and attend special parent days or lunches. Also be available to help your child with schoolwork. Be careful, however, not to take over. Help your child with homework as needed; don’t do it for him.
6. Celebrate accomplishments – Frame a prized school drawing, place an accomplished test paper on the refrigerator for all to see or take your child out for a treat to celebrate a good report card. Let your child know that you appreciate their hard work and think their achievements are important.
7. Be involved in after-school activities – Watch your child’s soccer games or go to her dance recitals. Encourage their special interests whether they are the best player or not. The main point is that your child is enjoying herself and feels she is accomplishing a new skill. Let her know you are proud of her by being there.
8. Assign age appropriate chores – Children want to feel they are useful members of the family. Give your child a few tasks to complete and praise him for accomplishing them. Children will feel needed and necessary to the family unit. Don’t nag or scold if chores do not get completed. Opt for positive reinforcement, not negative.
9. Don’t compare – All children are different in abilities and personalities. Don’t compare your child with a sibling or friend’s child. This belittles your child and can cause frustration. Help your child develop his own natural abilities to become his own person.
10. Encourage new activities and hobbies – If your child shows an interest in a sport or hobby, encourage it. Make sure the activity is age appropriate so it doesn’t frustrate or discourage him. Practice the sport or work on the hobby together sometimes. Taking an interest in the things your child loves will create a strong bond between you.

Helping your child build his self-esteem through your interest and encouragement will also help to bond the relationship between you and your child. Sometimes there will be set-backs from outside influences, but forge ahead. You will be proud of the responsible, caring, competent adult that you will someday send out into the world.