Teaching by Example

Being a parent is without a doubt the most difficult job that I have ever had.  It’s full time, but that doesn’t mean 40 hours a week, it means for the rest of your life.  We all hope that our children will grow  up to be loving, caring and productive members of society.  We hope that we will give them the tools that they need to be successful in life.  Part of that means teaching by example. It’s strange to think that a trip to the mini-golf course is an opportunity to teach life lessons, but it is.

We took our children to play mini-golf today.  It’s still cold here in Connecticut and all of us are more than a little ready for the winter to be over.  We try to get out and do things as a family as often as we can.  Nearby we have an indoor mini-golf course which provides a wonderful bonding experience in addition to a respite of the boredome and frustration caused by the cold weather.

Today it also allowed us to teach by example.  When we arrived at the mini-golf course today, the place was empty.  It was after lunch and it is just one of those days.  We had hoped that it would remain that way for the duration of our play, but that was not to be the case.

A man came in with about five children.  We were on the 7th or 8th hole when they started the course, but in spite of that, by the time we had reached the 10th hole, they had caught up with us.  Good manners dictate that there are two courses of action in this situation: 1. wait your turn, or 2. ask politely for the allowance to play through.  Sadly, this “gentlemen” did neither.  He simply allowed, no, encouraged his children to play through our party.

His children were not taught the proper manners of the course, they certainly weren’t encouraged to wait their turn.  In fact, all his poor manners did teach his children is that good etiquette and turn taking simply don’t apply to them.  How sad is that? 

I watched my husband get angry at the situation and I was amazed at his ability to keep his calm.  I was thankful that he is a generous and patient man.  Although I found it tempting to say something to the gentlemen, I realized that it was probably a pointless endevour.  We chose to allow them to play through, explaining to our children what the proper course of action would have been and finally, we explained our experience to the workers on the course.  This way, they could make some changes in their greeting of new players making sure to explain proper play to those who simply may not know.

It never ceases to amaze me where and how often the opprotunity to teach our children arise.  I wish more parents would seize the chance and realize that they teach with more than words.