Teach Your Child to Develop Boundaries

Nothing is worse than a small child, in trying to make friends with others, in getting stepped on, talked down to, and belittled in the process. Since individuals are not born with personal boundaries, this is something that has to be developed, usually with the aid of the parents. Having boundaries means being able to protect oneself against being hurt, but also not allowing the perpetrator to get away with it.

It is harmful for children to become a “sitting duck” and take abuse and bullying from another student. Children must be taught to stand up to such behavior and say things like “No, I will not let you treat me this way.” With the continuing sexualization of children in our society, is is even more important for a child to say “No!” to a peer who wants to invade physical space, meaning, attempting to touch the child in an appropriate way. In no way should a child be forced to feel guilty for standing up for herself or himself. There should never be any fear of hurting the wrongdoer or losing a potential friendship this way, as chances are the person doing the mistreating is no friend at all.

Never allow your child to be controlled by peers. Peer are more likely to lead one down the road to ruin, especially when they get older. How many times does an innocent person get bullied into doing illegal things, just to be part of the crowd? Is it better to be accepted by peers and spend time in jail with a felony record under one’s belt, or to have no such “friends” at all and remain sober and clean? That is where the boundaries come in, to be able to say “No” firmly to peers who will mislead you.

Once an individual develops clear cut boundaries as a child, as an adult, that person will have a less difficult time in dealing with people who try to trespass those boundaries. Without boundaries developed as children, an adult will have a hard time distinguishing between protecting oneself, and doing what another person says, just to please them. Being a people pleaser should never be a part of having real boundaries, since it is a blatant violation of them.