Step Children: Why Do Men Abuse or Kill Them?
Step children are in trouble. They are faced with numerous challenges that arise out of their underprivileged status. While some may thrive irrespective of these challenges, many succumb to abuse and neglect orchestrated by their foster fathers. Many are being tortured, raped and maimed at the hands of the very men their mothers love. What are the reasons for this?
If you thought only women hate their step children then you are wrong. Papers are awash with cases of men who abuse their foster children. Some have gone to the extent of raping, torturing and even killing their foster children. Why do men abuse their foster children? Why do they molest these innocent victims of circumstances? Observation and baseline surveys carried out by this author reveal several reasons:
- Some men are just violent by nature – Men who rape, torture and kill their foster children could be genotypically and phenotypically violent. Such men commit many other crimes that are similar in nature and the torture unto which they may subject their children may be just an extension of this violence.
- Frustration from previous unions – Hurts, frustrations and regrets from previous unions with women who either died or divorced these men could make them vent their anger on innocent victims, in this case, their step children.
- The feeling of otherness – How can I explain this? That sense of belonging that comes with blood ties may be found missing between foster parents and their ‘children’ hence the tendency to mistreat and abuse them.
- Competition for affection – A lot of time and effort goes into parenting, especially for mothers. When mothers remarry for whatever reasons, children from past unions may come against stiff competition from the father as they look for the mother’s undivided attention.
- Poverty – When poverty enters through the door, love gets out through the window. When this happens, the first to suffer are the children and bad for them if the man identifies them falsely as the source of his unbearable circumstances.
- Peer pressure – Friends and relatives may also determine how men and women treat their children, especially those who are not biologically theirs. Such pressure may come from either close buddies or even parents, especially mothers.
- Drug abuse – When who abuse alcohol and narcotics tend to be more violent compared to teetotalers. While alcohol may only accentuate an already existing emotional problem, drugs can not be ruled out completely when it comes to the role they play in physical abuse of children, particularly step children.
These and many other reasons may be to blame for the rising cases of homicide, particularly that which is directed against poor defenseless children. Sometimes mothers are forced to pick between loving the man or protecting the children and that becomes the deal breaker.
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Published in: Family
Aiyanna | Nov 26, 2010 | Reply
This kind of Child abuse is not just restricted to families with step children. There are families where the real fathers also abuse their children and it is sheer will power to get out of such a situation.
Thank you for spreading the awareness…
suhail | Nov 26, 2010 | Reply
well this is sad reality ! Nothing has been done so far on this issue as far as i have noticed
Nikolaos Skordilis | Nov 26, 2010 | Reply
Not only step children,and certainly not only fathers.
Violence is the last refugee of the weak.
Unless we stop violence we will never discern ourselves
from animals.
Thanks for the share.
Christine Ramsay | Nov 26, 2010 | Reply
Children can be so vunerable when a step parent comes into their lives. Fortunately I had a very kind step father. Thanks for raising our awareness through this article.
I can’t get into your Snake post, by the way, Jimmy.
Christine
Anuradha Ramkumar | Nov 26, 2010 | Reply
poor children…any kind of child abuse must be stopped.
addjusting | Nov 26, 2010 | Reply
I think this is the reason why, we as a parent must check who we are letting in the house. It is our responsibility not to trust strangers or people that is not really a part of the family or blood line.
giritharanj | Nov 26, 2010 | Reply
nice share – gj
phani2help | Nov 26, 2010 | Reply
nice article ………….. keep going……..
my articles are pretty intresting please read them…………
SharifaMcFarlane | Nov 26, 2010 | Reply
Each parent has to be careful who they marry. If they find that they made a mistake, they have to find the will to correct it.
webseowriters | Nov 26, 2010 | Reply
I have 6 step siblings but we have more love among us then reals
N. Sun | Nov 26, 2010 | Reply
It’s really sad; stepchildren need to be accepted by their guardians.
bigpapadan | Nov 26, 2010 | Reply
Wow. Very powerful, very eyeopening and very disturbing. In a world where we have so little impact, the one thing we leave behind is the next generation. You would think more people would look as kids, even step kids and think, I can make a difference here. Great post on a bad trend.
Phoenix Montoya | Nov 26, 2010 | Reply
Some people can be like this…. drug addicts in particular. Scary stuff
yes me | Nov 26, 2010 | Reply
We must do more to save the children world wide… great share Leo
Sarah Rebecca | Nov 26, 2010 | Reply
Very interesting. Thanks for sharing!
lillyrose | Nov 26, 2010 | Reply
This is a deeply disturbing article but you dealt with it well. My oldest children have a step father but he is a good man despite being abused by his piano teacher as a junior. I don’t know what makes men, women or other children abuse children, I think it must be something that went wrong with their brain. It doesn’t matter if the are educated, live in poverty, follow religion, there is no excuse for this unforgivable behaviour. If I found out my children had been or were being abused I would not stay with the abuser.
The forgiver | Nov 26, 2010 | Reply
Its a really sad situation. These blooming flowers are sometimes treated very badly by some step-parents. I feel like doing something for them. Nice article here!
Sincere regards,
-The forgiver
Minister Marlene | Nov 26, 2010 | Reply
A disturbing fact. Your reasons why sum it all up. The weak, whoever they may be, are the butt of every injustice. It is a grave problem in America with so many in foster care who have been abused.
Jewelstar | Nov 26, 2010 | Reply
This can happen between step mom and step son or step dad and step daughter. You cannot control the actions of an individual. It is the willpower of each humanbeing to be sensible, give value to relationships and control their sexual emotions.
Brenda Nelson | Nov 26, 2010 | Reply
Jealously.. I think that is the bulk of it..
the step kids remind them that they were not the first.. and they are jealous that the kids get love of the mom
there is really no excuse
Daisy Peasblossom | Nov 26, 2010 | Reply
When abuse occurs, it is the duty of the non-abusive partner to remove the children from danger. This isn’t easy, it isn’t fun, but the children come first; they have no choice.
Anj M | Nov 26, 2010 | Reply
Most of the points which you have outlined is very true.. Its sad. Again its the way the world runs.
Michal Dorcak | Nov 26, 2010 | Reply
So sad these things happen. Anyway, your points make a lot of sense.
PSingh1990 | Nov 26, 2010 | Reply
Good Post.
Thanks for share.
LCM Linda | Nov 26, 2010 | Reply
Sex may be a dominant cause. It is more dangerous for girls to be the step children. The new father may only have sex in mind and will dare to hurt the girl, especially when he is very confident that his wife loves him so much that she will tolerate the rape. Thanks for sharing.
papaleng | Nov 27, 2010 | Reply
I guess, it’s the perception that it is not his child.
papaleng | Nov 27, 2010 | Reply
I guess, it\’s the perception that it is not his child.
albert1jemi | Nov 28, 2010 | Reply
great share
Raj the Tora | Nov 28, 2010 | Reply
very true, some males are sore losers
Starpisces | Nov 30, 2010 | Reply
are they human?
lxdollarsxl | Nov 30, 2010 | Reply
One thing strikes me that no one seems to realise, far from giving either men or women who things reasons for their behaviour/acts – the plain truth is they are just totally evil characters who do not belong in society.
Sweet girl | Dec 3, 2010 | Reply
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Christa | Feb 2, 2011 | Reply
The fact is this. It happens every day and there is nothing we can do about it. The first thing a male lion does when mating a new female is eat any previous offspring. This is not because he is evil. It is because when HIS kids arrive they have less of a chance of surviving. This practice is carried on in every animal speices in the word. We are animals too. So can we really expect something so intergrained in our being to dissapear? Can we really expect any thing short of hate when we bring a new mate into the picture be it man or woman? Some people really are monsters and since laws prevent them from outright killing the existing offspring they resort to showing them just how much they ate not wanted by abuse and rape and tourture. This of course is illegal to but people can get away with it by intimidating the child into not telling “Or I will KILL you!” And covering up with makeup and longsleve shirts and pants. The truth of this is disturbing and makes me resent the fact I’m human. We were given a brain to kno better. But we do it any way. I dont want to bring any children into this hellhole we call humanity but I kno I will someday. It makes me scared to be a woman. Beyond that it makes me scared to be human.
GayBunnyBoy | Apr 3, 2012 | Reply
because they just want that person all too themselves and they have that i’ll fuck whoever i want or date whoever i want and be with whoever i want attitude just like the evil stepmothers and its these desperate men and women that wanna stay with because their selfish and only wanna put their own needs ahead of their own children