Stay at Home Dad

About 2 months ago I was made redundant. There I said it, I am unemployed, no longer in full time employment. I do write for a small income, although it was always a supplement to the full time income.

When I became unemployed my better half was on maternity leave, She had also decided to take an extra unpaid month. Just in this last week She has returned to full time work. Because I am still out of work I’ve decided to stay at home with our 6 moth old child.

To get the picture going here, She’s our first child and I have been in full time employment for most of my life. So with tears in all our eyes we waved “day day” to Mammy, and then it came down to just the two of us. No Mammy to ask where things are, no Mammy to ask if I can feed this to the Child without killing Her. It was a little daunting, but I just got my head down and tried to work through the day.

A few days have passed now and I’m getting used to it. I believe that men aren’t natural carers, we just aren’t built with the same instincts. That doesn’t mean that we are any worse at looking after children, we are just different.

There are good and bad sides to staying at home with my Daughter. From Her point of view, She is with a parent and that’s always best for children. Handing your child away to child care for 8 or 9 hours a day means that the carers have more time per day with your child than you do. So faced with the decision of sending my Daughter off to child care and staying at home with Her, I will always stay at home.

So here’s some tips if your thinking of doing likewise, the tips are mostly for Men but I’m sure I might hit apon something that you ladies might now realise.

1. Your child is not a machine, she will not eat 6oz of a bottle every 4 hours. She might have 4oz every 3 hours or 8oz every 7 hours. All that matters is, you feed the child when She is hungry. Most important is wet and dirty nappies. 1 or 2 good poos a day (there can be more than 2, that’s OK too) and lots of heavy wet nappies.

2. How much bottle your child drinks a day is up to the child, not up to the guidelines on the side of the formula. A baby will have its calorific needs in food. Adults eat because the food tastes nice. A baby drinks a bottle because its hungry, if shes not hungey she won’t eat. If your concerned about how much your child is eating you should talk to a health professional.

3. A routine can take a long time to establish, it can also be destroyed in one day. If your a parent who wants a child to have a good routine, work with the child. Don’t think that you can enforce really strict timings on your child. Watch what the child is doing, like rubbing her eyes around 3pm. If that’s what the child does everyday then the child should sleep around 3pm. We have never really enforced a routine, She sleeps when She’s tired and eats when She’s hungry.

4. Whatever good advice you get, there will always be a nay sayer. I hear the soothers (pacifiers) are good for a child, in that they cut down on cot deaths. I also hear they are bad because they can affect the shape of the palate. Go with what you think is right, most of the time your own instincts and what the child tells you will work out better for you.

5. The most important. There will be good days and bad days, and some days will be worst in your life. No one ever told me that simple fact. Just remember, the day will end and the child will sleep. Things will get better, just be patient. If it gets a bit too much, talk to people. Ask your GP, the local Nurse or friends and Family.

That’s the basics folks. If there’s enough interest in this article I’ll do a more indepth one. Please fell free to comment, and if you like it give me a thumbs up. You’ll never know who you might help out.