Spoiled Rotten

   He just had to have his way.  The child was barely four, but he was down on the grocery store floor kicking, yelling, crying, and clamouring to have his way.  His mother stood helplessly by begging him to get up, and imploring him to cooperate.  Those in the store looked on silently, all thinking about what they would do if it were their child.  Finally, the boy rose to his feet when he was told he could have his way.  The poor mother, a victim of a spoiled child, brushed back her hair with her hand, bought her items and exited with the happy child. 

    How many times does this scenario play out over and over?   Spoiled children rule the parents.  The parents become locked into their child’s temper tantrums because they believe giving in is the answer to having a peace.  Believe me, it is just the opposite.  Giving in brings about later chaos and confusion, unhappiness, and maybe even physical assaults from the child upon the parents. 

    Spoiled children learn early the temperament of their parents.  They begin to manipulate them from the crib– crying louder and louder and giving the parents no peace.  They cry for any and every thing and then get quiet when they have obtained that which they want.  For most children, this is normal when wet or hungry.  Spoiled children, however, go beyond this.  They begin seeking control of their parents for many unnecessary things.  They figure out what will move their parents into action by a series of trial and error.  If it means smudging up the walls, tearing things in the house up, hurting other siblings, they try.  What works they put into their arsenal and use these tactics over and over until the parents are theirs. 

   Spoiled children are selfish.  They want more than they are willing to give.  I’ve seen these children make oppressive demands on their parent to the point that the parent is about to collapse.  The parents actually begin to grow a monster, feeding it, training it, and finally are in its grips.  The only way a parent is able to break away, is often, give the child up for adoption or ask a family member to keep him or her.  Many parents suffer through with the child and later on discover that the child takes this game to school, seeks to manipulate the teachers and other classmates, and becomes repulsive and undesirable. 

   When spoiled children grow up, they assume a different disguise.  Many times they cover who they really by buying others.  At first they appear to be polite, gentle, and a real friend, but gradually, over time they begin seeking ways to get what they want.  Some distort the truth or lie.  Others steal without remorse, and still others try to always make their side of the story look good.  Spoiled adults do not care about other’s feelings.  Because that matters not, they will go to many lengths to get their way.  These individuals create a burden to others in the family and because they are so strong-willed have difficulty sharing and taking on responsibilities for others who need them. 

    Relief comes in knowing that a spoiled child can change at any point.  It is hard reversing character, but it can be done.  Parents who are “growing” spoiled children must often seek professional help.  They must remain firm as to their course to reverse this character trait in their child.  They must practice “tough love” and not give in to the child.  Gradually, as the child sees none of his methods working, he will realize that he must concede.  At the adult level, this behavior can also be reversed.  Sad to say, it sometimes comes after the adult has been beaten down by society, shunned, and suffered loss of friends and associates.  As a spoiled adult sees himself in a new light, they will want to at least be accepted by those around him.  When he gets favorable acceptance for not having his own way all the time, he will be more willing to make the change. 

    Viewing life as a lesson book, parents of spoiled children will attest to the fact that if they don’t train their child to be unspoiled, then life can, and in many cases will.