Spanking vs. Time Out

In a world filled with opinions here comes one more – Which is best spanking or time out? Could both be the answer?

The Super Nanny’s advice was to use time out with the twins. So, as the show progressed one of the mother’s little twins decided to play on the stairs. The mother explained to the two-year-old that he could get hurt and that if he proceeded to do this that he would go in time out. Sounds reasonable, right?

Oh, but no my friends.

I was watching Super Nanny here while back. The mother had twins and was having a difficult time disciplining them

The mother at the advice of the Supper Nanny placed the child in time out not once, not twice, but forty some times for this one incident. The child thought it was a game. Thus, began the tag team efforts of the twins to wear down mom with time out. Supper Nanny advised mom not to give up that it was her lack of discipline that had spurred on the twins and that as they saw how serious she was and how consistent she was that they would succumb to the new discipline routine of time out.

Enough Time Out

Let me begin by saying I am not against time out and other forms of discipline. But, what I am against is using it as the only form of punishment. I also feel that in this day and age that we have to many people trying every other method in the book, but refusing to spank. I hear parents being smart mouthed in the stores by their teens. I hear kids crying, screaming, and throwing an all out fit when they don’t get their way. Then the parent stands there trying to reason with the child and use every kind of “psychology crap” they can to get the child to calm down

when all that was needed was a firm swat on the bottom and a direct ” I said no” . There is a time when time out is not enough.

I’ve heard it said before by others my age, but I agree. ” I was spanked as a child and it did not hurt me. ” I understand that there can be a fine line to cross when it comes to spanking and abuse. When it is done inappropriately and in anger it can lead to and be abuse. There are parents who are true authoritarians that don’t allow for the child to be a child and express themselves to some degree. They lean too heavily on the belt and a good spanking.

Spanking Etiquette

I guess where spanking is concerned there needs to be some etiquette applied. Some guidelines that are set forth. First, always remember that they are children and that just as clay is molded in your hands so are they. Remember too, that if you go at them by lashing out in anger and beating them senseless you will only create hurt and angry adults who may have a hard time in the future.

When I go to punish my son the first thing I do is not to spank him. What I begin with is a small talk that explains why his actions or words are not appropriate. I give him a warning not to do it again and then if he does I ground him from things he loves most; his friends, TV, video games, etc. . Then if the behavior continues I do spank.

Now, if there is a situation that is life threatening to him or someone else then yes and most definitely he gets spanked. I feel that it is important to emphasize these times and to make them as real as possible to him.

Opinions, Opinions

I know that as long as time will stand there are going to be varying degrees of opinions on this subject. That is fine. I feel that as long as the child is loved and that it is the best intent of the parent to nurture that child to grow up to be healthy physically. Also, helping them to be an emotionally and mentally stable individual is the fulfillment of any parents job. Then begins the battle of the spanking issue with a whole new generation of parents…

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  1. Oh, I am with you on this one. You have to get a young childs attention when he is misbehaving and the best way to do that is a sharp quick slap on his little behind. He will understand right away. I have watched super nanny a few times and I think it is ridicilous. That is not the way to teach a child. That kind of thing is why we have so many misbehaving kids in the schools today. A parent has to be a parent. Not somebody running and dragging a child back to his chair a 100 times.

  2. Great Article. There is a diffence in child abuse and a little attention-getting slap on the behind. Thank your for sharing such a sensitive subject.

  3. Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE:

    Child buttock-battering for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.

    Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.

    I think the reason why television shows like “Supernanny” and “Dr. Phil” are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do.

    There are several reasons why child buttock-battering isn’t a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:

    Plain Talk About Spanking
    by Jordan Riak,

    The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
    by Tom Johnson,

    NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
    by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.

  4. Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational resources, testimony, documentation, etc available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research on “spanking”.

    Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child buttock-battering isn’t a good idea:

    American Academy of Pediatrics,

    American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,

    Center For Effective Discipline,

    PsycHealth Ltd Behavioral Health Professionals,

    Churches’ Network For Non-Violence,

    Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,

    Parenting In Jesus’ Footsteps,

    Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,

    United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.

    In 26 countries, child buttock-battering is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.

  5. You may want to reconsider spanking as an option. Spanking an smart mouth is somewhat the same. And, in the long run depending on the child. May back fire on you. Its still showing that hitting is exceptible. And, that is sending the wrong message to the child. Being form and encouraging better behavior from the start may be an option.
    When it comes to spoiled children. They need more encouragement than ever. And, spanking may,definately make matters worse. I personally feel for the mother and the child. They both are going through an horrific ordeal. Patience is what those twins need. And, accursiveness. Not agressive.
    Have a great day to all.

  6. To those who are completely against spanking as of form of punishment. Good for you! Now let’s talk after the first couple of times you have to bail your coddled children out of jail. I grew up in a large family. All but one of us were spanked and guess what; the one that was never spanked grew up feeling a sense of entitlement and showed absolutely no respect for any kind of authority. One day while in prison he called me and confided in me the realization that he acted this way because he never had to answer for anything in the past. He now feels that all those years of being raised in the fashion that psychologists had instructed my parents to do was wrong. He went on to say that if he had recieved spankings as a child he probably would not have acted in the manner in which he did. So if you are dead set against giving a spanking to your children, may you never complain with the way they treat authority figures, spend time in jail, or completely lose respect for YOU!

  7. One more thing. Studies show that, the majority of parents that are steadfastly opposed to spanking, are not yet parents themselves. To those who are part of that group I say this; have a child before having an opinion!

  8. I have to say I used to agree with this philosophy until I had my Son, spanking him only seems to escalate the problem, he becomes even more aggressive and will swing back, he does not care if he gets a spanking and the problem only escalates, But when I place him in time-out it truly takes responsibility for his actions and when were in public and he acts up one mention of having to sit in time out and he stops in his tracks. Like I said I used to be under the impression that spanking was an effective tool but then my son came and now I only spank if there is an immediate danger (running into the road, pulling the kitchen knives off the counter, etc…) I guess it depends on your childs personality.

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