When your child acts up, find out the root of the issue, and realize that it might just be your child’s way to communicate.
Children-by all mean-are lovable, adorable, and yes, cute! They can melt your heart like butter in the hot sun. With a dash of their eyes, they will get you to do what they want, and with the pout of their lips, you will forget that you were angry.
However, this cuteness can only go so far, especially when bad behaviors consistently present themselves. I believe love and discipline go hand in hand.
According to psychologist Charlotte J. Patterson, when children throw a tantrum, they are just showing their independence, and express their opinions. She is the author of an educational textbook “Child Development“, and also is a mother of three.
She says, “Parents need to be proactive to avoid tantrums.” This means, you must know when your children are tired or hungry, and be prepared to keep them occupied with small toy or snack. If all effort fails, calmly remove the children from the scene.
When your children know that you will not tolerate any tantrums, they will learn that they won’t get what they want.
All kids whine! Mary-Elaine Jacobsen, a psychologist, suggests ignoring children’s behavior when it comes as a whine instead of a request. She is the author of “The Brat Stops Here!” and believes that good parenting and disciplining is in planning ahead.
Prepare something for your children to do, such as games, puzzles, or postcards before you get on the phone for a chat. Also, remain calm, and be consistence with your rules.
If you have children who like rough and tumble play, sometimes they hit each other. First, understanding what is the child’s intention, and the different degrees of hitting, said Dr. Lori J. Warner, a licensed psychologist at Beaumont Hospital, and director of the Hands-On Parent Education Center (HOPE).
According to Dr. Charlotte J. Patterson “Children hear words and wonder what they mean.” Therefore, when they come to you and using a swear word, they want to see how you react to it. This is your opportunity to teach the children why they should not use the word. You do not have to explain in great detail, but just let them know the word means something bad.
For older children, Dr. Patterson said they need to learn that the kind of language, words, or even tones may not be appropriate for parents, teachers, or coaches. As with hitting, and lying, parents need to lead by example.
Little children play pretend all the time, and they have different ideas about what the truth is, said Dr. Lori J. Warner. However, when telling tall tales, such as the dog flies in the sky, even most preschoolers know that is not true.
Older children may try lying to see if they can get away with something, and test parents for reinforcement on telling the truth. Teach them to be honest since honesty results in respect and trust from people around them.
The concept of stealing is different between younger children and older kids. Younger children may not realize that they are stealing when they walk off with something that is not theirs, but if parents simply say that it is not theirs doll or truck, they will learn very fast.
Older children when caught stealing require a punishment from a parent, says Charlotte J. Patterson. Sit down to discuss consequences and take appropriate action if the problem exists.
Children change as they grow, and sometimes they can’t express what bother them; therefore it might trigger behavior problems. As parents, you need to find out why your child acts up, find out the root of the issue, and realize that it might just be your child’s way to communicate.
Published in: Family