Simple Parenting: Loving Them and Leading Them

When my first child, my son Chizaram, was born, I was joyful and willing to be a good parent. I was more than happy to do my own part of the baby caring duties at home. Parenting can be a source of joy, the challenges notwithstanding.

Parenting is not complicated as many people now tend to believe. It is challenging, yes; but with the right attitude, you will find out it is really simple. Parents have been raising children for thousands of years without all these psychological therapies now all over the place.

The truth is, our great-grandparents knew a lot more about parenting than most of us do; even with all the improvements in learning and lifestyle we now enjoy. They understood that parenting basically boils down to two basic duties: LOVING THEM AND LEADING TH’EM.

Loving Them

This is one you really need to enjoy. Once your children know you love them, your duty as a parent becomes easier. Even when you make mistakes or fail in your duties, your kids will still be OK with you because they can feel your love.

Loving your children means that you care for them and can do anything to ensure their welfare. Yes, you discipline them. Yes, you sometimes deny them things they request if you believe is  not the best for them. But in all these, all you care about is the children’s welfare.

The main role of a parent is to help in shaping the child’s character. This is the main essence of love. Character is different from behaviour. It is the root beneath the surface; the one we do not see while behaviour is the leaf of a plant. That is the one we see.

Leading Them

To be in a position to lead well as a parent, you need take into account the following:

1. Visionary – You just need to have a vision if you are a parent that intends to lead well. This means you need to have a picture of the kind of person you will like your child to be and mould that child towards that direction.

2. Authoritative – There is a big difference between being authoritative and being “Authoritarian” which involves using your power to crush the other persons’s will. Being authoritative means you need to understand your God-given role as the head of the household and that you have primary authority over your children. Your household is not necessarily a democratic arrangement where you put everything to vote.

3. Decisive – There will be times the children will feel like doing certain things, the parent needs to decide whether such things are good for the kids.

4. Confident – You need to be confident as a parent. Remember, your kids are always looking up to you. If you sound unsure, they will be discouraged. You must show your kids you know what you are doing.

5. Disciplinarians – Discipline is not punishment. It is bigger, better and necessary.  Without it, your kids will definitely drift as “everything goes” becomes their way of life. This is one thing every good parent should not toy with.

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