Should I wish my ex happy birthday?

Why you shouldn’t contact your ex to wish him or her happy birthday. I give advice to a woman who is torn on deciding whether or not she should wish her ex-boyfriend happy birthday. The woman seemed concerned that if she didn’t call him she would seem impolite.


My ex-boyfriend of three and a half years has a birthday coming up. He was my best friend and he ended up screwing me over, and broke my heart. I can’t stand him and don’t still have feelings for him. I know I sound crazy but I am still contemplating on if I should contact him on his birthday or not. Am I being rude by not calling him at least? I am really confused about this. What do you think? 

My Advice: 

OK look.

You are obviously a sweet, classy woman. If you were not you would not be contemplating on how you should approach this situation.

First of all,

In your particular situation the answer is NO. Do not call and wish your ex happy birthday. Don’t call him, don’t text him, don’t send him a birthday card, or even a postcard.

Do not call this guy who treated you so badly. He does not need you to praise the day he was born in order to be fulfilled. Your not being rude or impolite by not contacting  him on his, “special day.” If you don’t call you don’t look stupid or rude; if you do call him you might look stupid. Some people are pretty clueless when it comes to interpreting the underlying meanings within a simple phone call. Your ex might think you called because you are still hung up on him. I don’t know about you but, I wouldn’t want to give a nasty ex-boyfriend any kind of ego boost. If you call him you are opening Pandora’s box. Your ex is a big boy; he can handle you not calling him on his birthday.

Now, if one of his family members was sick or passed away there would be no problem calling him because that would be a serious matter. A grown man’s birthday is not a serious matter that needs to be addressed with a phone call.

Don’t give this guy the satisfaction of thinking you still have feelings for him, even if you still do. 

Don’t let him back in your life for any amount of time, including a two minute phone call.  You are not acting impolite, mean, outlandish, or trashy by simply not recognizing his great achievement of living for another year.  

Your ex has probably not spent much, if any; time pondering on if you will call him on his birthday. Why spend any of your time deciding on what would be beneficial to his needs.If I were you I would go out with my friends on the day of his birthday and have a party of my own. 

Like I said before you sound like a sweet person who thinks a lot about others. In this situation you should solely think about what is best for you.

By the way, I just waved my magic wand and officially made the day of his birthday your birthday! So, Happy Birthday!  

You deserve a celebration a lot more than your ex does. I am also sure you probably knew you shouldn’t call him before you asked for my advice.

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Published in: Family


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