Seven Basic Rules of Child Discipline

One of the many ways parents show love for their children is by disciplining them, though this is one of the most difficult tasks of parenting. Teaching an independent human being who has a completely different agenda to do what you say is a task proportionate to climbing Mount Everest. However, failing to discipline your child guarantees both of you years of unhappiness and stress. Discipline is not easy, but if you take the time to do it right, it is more rewarding than you could possibly imagine.

There are mountains of books describing how to discipline children. Some say you should spank; others vehemently argue against spanking. Some promote freedom and free expression; others prescribe arbitrary strictness. The way you discipline your child should be built around your family’s personality, though there are basic guidelines that are essential to effective discipline.

Your method of discipline will work only if you gain your child’s respect and teach them to willingly follow your instructions. Some parents find that it’s much easier to control their children using intimidation, but that is a short-term solution that will eventually backfire and cause additional serious behavioral problems. The parent who takes time to earn their child’s respect will experience the gratification that comes from a healthy child-parent relationship. It’s worth the effort.

Warn, wait, too late

You first need to determine a communication system for disciplining your child. Most people count slowly to three, expecting a change in behavior before they finish counting. This works well because it incorporates three vital principles in effective discipline:

1. Warn-warn the child that her behavior is unacceptable.
2. Wait-give the child time to decide how to act.
3. Too late-give the child a deadline to modify her behavior.

Discipline works when children are allowed to think about and make decisions then experience the consequences of their decisions. Giving a warning, giving time to decide, and giving a deadline allows the child to decide whether they will conform with the parent’s wishes and experience pleasant consequences or rebel against the parent and suffer negative consequences. Any system that communicates these three principles will work.
Having a system where you warn your child and then wait a few seconds for them to act works when your child has a quick and simple task to do. However, parents don’t always ask their children to do quick and simple things. When you ask your child to do something that will take a longer amount of time (such as putting on their pajamas or setting the table) you will need to give them more time to do it. Make sure that you inform you child of the amount of time they have to accomplish a given task then wait that long before imposing consequences.