Secrets to a Successful “Time-out”
The term "Time out" is much popular among the preschoolers than among any other older kids. It consists of immediately isolating a child in a boring place for a few minutes when he or she misbehaves.
Preschoolers are intensively learning rules and testing boundaries. They are much more capable of rational thoughts than a toddler, she’s still ruled by her emotions and can turn on a dime from a happy go lucky girl to a wailing wild thing.
When the preschooler crosses the line or gets too worked up for her own good, sometimes the best way is to make her calm down or isolate her from the place which made her to do that, and this is termed as “Time Out”. This method is a great way to shape behaviour. This also helps both the child and the parent to get a cooling off period and regain control of their emotions. The success to this lies in effectively handling and using the timeout in the appropriate situation. It can almost change any childhood behaviour.
It is most useful for aggressive, disruptive and harmful behaviour This is not needed for children below the age of 18 months as most of them understand the verbal language and do respond to them positively… This is mostly needed for kids from age 2-4. And according to my personal knowledge this is the time when the actions speaks more better than words!!!
Understand what a time out is and what isn’t…….. If u dont think it as a punishment ans neither will your child be and thats as it should be. Instead think of it as an oppurtunity to calm down your child from common frustrations and modify her behaviour.
Time the “time-out” well……It should be short enough to make your child to realise and go back to the original situation and learn the acceptable behaviour. A good rule of thumb is 1 minute per year of age. If you leave them longer than that, they might shift focus from being calm to angry and resentful which counteracts what time-out is supposed to do..
There are various ways you can assign a time-out. U can pick a chair and designate it as the place. But be sure to keep it at a boring place facing a wall or a corner and that all the toys n activities are away from it. Or else u can also choose a room when the child is a little older. But be careful to see that the child is not in a scary or dark enviroment or that contain some hot water etc.
Be consistent, meaning to say, decide what actions merit a time out. If u use it frequently even for small things, the purpose would dilute out. So use this for tougher problems such as agrssivenss of biting, hitting or throwing toys or open defiance.
When the timeout is over, address the transgression that put her their in the first place. Also ask the child how she would handle the situation next time, Dont yell at her or shout.
Finally give your child lot of time-in too.This reinforces good behaviour too. Give the child a big hug or apprciate when she behave well in a public place or to her siblings. u can show your appreciation by giving small gifts or taking them to a long promised place etc.
Kids how much they torture us, we tend to give them more and more love and affection.. These are some good steps which would give them some place in the social life in thier future.
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Published in: Family
meena ramkumar | Jan 7, 2010 | Reply
Hai geetha!
I have read your article its really gud and i hope this article came out as an experienced mother.(hey just kidding you)
The last line you furnished in the article is excellent and i liked it very much (ie) \”Kids how much they torture us, we tend to give them more and more love and affection..\”.
But one thing i wont accept if they torture us for a long we should not leave them alone and i will not,see we should teach them a good habits,manners,attitude,etc in the child hood it will be helpful when they grow up.
I believe in basics so,if the basic is strong everything will be in our control.
Only love can change everything not the punishments.
But i really liked your article and will be helpful for the future.
Vibha | Jan 7, 2010 | Reply
Wonderful article Geetha! Very informative. When I have a kid I am gonna ask u for expert advise
Keep writing more!
tina | Jan 7, 2010 | Reply
geetha i read the article da….very nice…u know it really helps..i just like it…and yeas…you r right..how much ever kids try to torture us,we will always try to give thm best…more love and care!!!….thanks gee for such a beautiful article!!!!
Mythili Kannan | Jan 7, 2010 | Reply
Great post Geethu…. Wonderful and you have described it very well…
Rather than the word Torture, I would say “Naughtiness, which we parents are not able to bear”
Mary | Jan 7, 2010 | Reply
Any suggestions on what to do if they don’t take the timeout seat. When my son gets cranky he just wont sit down or stay in a place unless i sit with him. I end up putting him on the table and i am not very sure that is safe.
Remmyramesh | Jan 7, 2010 | Reply
Good one Geetha!! I would even suggest trying to talk them into things right from their early months.. I’ve seen them work out to a great deal..
samshi | Jan 7, 2010 | Reply
hi
your article is really good………
my son is one of the naughtiest kid in the whole universe(my mom says)…he will never sit in one place…………every sec he does some mischiefs…………
keep writing let me see if ur articles can help to handle my naughty boy……….
Vinaya | Jan 9, 2010 | Reply
Hi geetha,
I read your article, and I feel tat you have done a lot of research on the topic of time out. Now, as a psychologist, I do agree with the point. In most of the English movies we see that when a child does something wrong, parents ask them to go to their soon, especially during neck times. This in fact is the basic of time out technique. And most researcher show that, this is what works with children more than the physical punishment given. Again like hw u mentioned, time out only works when it is raised with positive reinforcement, that is a praise, or a hug, or even a clas to positive performances. In clinical situations too, like in a hyperactive kid, tis is seen to work really well. One extra piece of fact is that, before timing out your child, he/she should know why the time out is being given. This shd be said in clear and firm language. Listen to geetha, try this, and see wonders working in your child! Write in more dear, your articles r a real eye opener to people who read them. Keep going!
Maharajan S | Jan 11, 2010 | Reply
Hi Geetha…..
Its really informative and I will / will make apply in the right time……..
Anand | Jan 11, 2010 | Reply
Hi Geetha, nice article n very much informative. Appreciate your effort
Anand
Ganesh and Kalyani | Jan 12, 2010 | Reply
Hellow Geetha,
your “Time Out Technics” will work out definitely on small child aged between 3 to 5.. The child should become calm himself/herself only when the angry is cooled down. But till then whether parents will be patient? But there is no other way. I am sure that your Time Out will work well. Ganesh and Kalyani
sangeetha | Jan 13, 2010 | Reply
hi geetha,
nice article..very informative..have to see if it works with abhinav…:-) keep writing more…
LAKSHMI SREERAM | Jan 14, 2010 | Reply
Dear Geetha,
Nice article .This technique I have seen it working as long as the child is less than 5 years old. But will it work in kids aged around 7-8 years!!
What is your suggestion for this?
HAPPY TIMING OUT