Respect is a Learned Behavior

Recently my wife, B. Nelson, wrote an article entitled “There Would be Fewer Spoiled Children if You Could Spank Their Parents”. In this article she talked about ways in which parents let their children get away with inappropriate behavior in social situations, with a focus on the behavior of children in retail stores. We both work in retail and see examples of children walking all over their parents, and others that happen to be in the store, quite frequently. The antics of these wild children is tiresome to everyone involved. It makes the owners of stores, their staff, and other customers very uncomfortable. The same can be said when these wild children let lose their fury in a restaurants or movie theaters.

If the effects of the bad parenting that allows, and at times encourages, disrespectful behavior in children was only limited to these specific social situations it might be considered a trivial thing by all, instead of just the parents who allow or encourage it. Nothing in this world stops at a singular situation. Every action or inaction we choose affects the whole. In my opinion the one thing that is lacking in the world of parenting is the choice to teach one’s children respect for the property and feelings of others.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mamchenkov/448445182/

Teaching one’s children to respect others is more than the mere instructions in proper manners. In requires instruction in the conceptual ideas behind those manners. Teaching our children to say “Thank You” and “Have a Nice Day” is a start, however if it ends at a simple instruction to preform those actions then the child is not really learning how this is showing respect for others. For example if you instruct your child to say “Thank You” or “Have a Nice Day” because it means others will view them in a better light then that action becomes about them gaining respect and not giving respect. Instead we should teach our children to say “Thank You” to show gratitude for something that another did for them because it will make that person feel good for having done that thing. Most children are intelligent and can understand this concept of gratitude. Even some parents of children with developmental disorders, such as Autism, are able to teach their children this concept of gratitude for the actions of others. Teaching your children to say “Have a Nice Day” and meaning it from the core of their being should be a simple task as well. Instructing them that if they wish to “Have a Nice Day” they should have that wish for everyone else. Kids are not stupid and they can understand such abstract thinking.