Parents’ Lies: 10 Favourites

Santa Clause only visits good children.
Santa Clause only visits sleeping children.
Sitting to close to the television screen gives you square eyes.
Spinach makes you strong.
If you cross your eyes all the time, they stay that way.
If you eat apple pips an apple tree will grow in you.
If children play with their private parts they will drop off.
The ice cream van only plays music to let children know it has run out if ice cream.
Eating crusts will put hair on your chest.
The police arrest children who swear.

Do you recognise any of them? Do you use any of them? Do you think them funny? Do you think lying is funny, then? I think it is despicable.

Parents use lies daily and repeatedly, just to take the easy way out. And these ten favourites are just that, favourites. There are thousands more lies told every day. Just because parents are incompetent to cope with their offspring, obviously, lying is an acceptable means to an end. What does this tell their children?

Quite naturally, children learn first to lie. It is not only acceptable, it is the rule. Lying about school, about homework, about anything becomes an accepted way of life, because their parents show them how to do it. A child absorbs anything without questioning up to the age of eight, by then it has learnt that parents are liars. Uplifting thought, isn’t it?

Parents even lie to themselves about their addictive lying. ‘I can’t tell the children the truth, I must protect them,’ is the most flabbergasting lie of all. Such utter and complete nonsense should be made punishable by law. But it certainly trains children up to become politically interested. Politicians are very good at protecting the voters from the truth.

Do you trust any labelling on the food you buy? I don’t, you shouldn’t. It was composed by a liar; he learnt it from his parents.

And much too often one has to listen to whingeing parents. Children have become so headstrong. They don’t listen to me anymore. But why should they? You are a lying bastard. Nobody should listen to you. Nobody, in fact, should be made to listening to your stupid whingeing; it’s your own bloody fault.

For every job nowadays one needs at least a bachelor’s degree. Toilet cleaning needs a degree, chimney sweeping needs a degree, and bin men need a degree. What kind of exam do parents take before they start production? Zilch. Parents are incompetent, because they know nothing about childrearing in the first place. Being completely at a loss how to cope, they lie to have it easy. Despicable.

Look at the youngsters’ gangs in the street. Thank their parents. Look at the cheaters in school. Thank their parents. Parents are a role model for their children, so perfect liars make perfect liars. And at the end, do you wonder why your children become crooks, lawyers, burglars, bankers, insurance seller, and drug peddlers?