Parenting Your Grandchildren

Grandparents are some of the greatest cup fillers in the world. A large number, because drugs have destroyed a generation, are parenting their grandchildren. Here are some cup-filling guidelines for grandparents finding themselves parenting the second time around.

     

Grandparents are some of the greatest cup fillers in the world. A large number, because drugs have destroyed a generation, are parenting their grandchildren. Just the time when they’re looking forward to getting back into the work force, doing some traveling, or taking it easier, they find themselves with a houseful of kids. Instead of full-cup kids, however, parental conflict, separation, neglect, and punitive care have emptied their cups. And grandparents have to deal with the consequences of empty, leaky cups they never experienced with their own children. The job is tougher! And just as the healing starts and the cup begins to fill, there is the chance that the child will be swept back into cup-emptying environments by order of the court or by parental guilt. Here are some cup-filling guidelines for grandparents finding themselves parenting the second time around:

Remember, you are the grandparents – not the parents. Children are the products of their parents, and their value is wrapped up in their parents. Don’t destroy the image of their parents.

Do everything possible to help the children maintain respect for their parents. You don’t have to approve of their behavior. You don’t have to be gullible and allow them to use you, but you can treat them with dignity.

When things get tough, get help. The children you are caring for may have special needs because of their fractured pasts. Read parenting books, take parent-education classes, but that may not be enough. Family counseling may give you the edge you need to hasten the healing and the filling.

Don’t be afraid to discipline. When children come from broken homes, they are desperately in need of security. Knowing where the boundaries are and knowing there is someone strong enough to keep the boundaries will give the children the security they crave.

But remember, you can only discipline as much as you’re willing to love. Your psychologically bruised and battered little ones are going to need a lot of individual attention. They’re going to soak it up. And loving, especially the unlovable, takes energy. You’re going to need a lot of it.

But along with the hard work, there will be the rewards. And hopefully you’ll end up having a special love “affair” with your grandchildren.

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  1. Nice post, i like it

  2. This is wonderful advice to grandparents. More people should feel this way. Thanks for sharing.

  3. nice one tol

  4. Outstanding advice to grandparents of which I am part of.

  5. Everyone can read this and either learn from you good tips or respect those who are cup fillers.

  6. Excellent article. Negligent parenting is becoming a cultural phenomena. I venture to say that this generation’s inability to parent their children is a symptom of the counterculture revolution of the 1960’s. Drugs, free love, disrespect for authority, radical feminism – all played a part in a cultural shift to irresponsibility and selfishness. The baby boomers were the generation who became parents during this cultural shift, and they were the first generation with effective available birth control. They didn’t have to put their family first, and were not good models in parenting.
    I’ll stop rambling now.

  7. A tough responsibility for old folks. Nowadays grandparents are pretty young, I may be one by the year 2030

  8. Karen, I’d resent that comment, except that I know how hard it was raising my kids in that 70″s/80’s environment; and I see the care my children take to give their children guidance, and enough room to learn and grow enough boundaries to keep them safe. There were a lot of things I didn’t allow, and some I wish I had not; but when I see how some of my children’s freinds grew up I’m not sorry for setting boundaries.

  9. Nice share.

  10. great work keep it up

  11. Thanks, Kabayan I neede those tips, I do have a makulit na apo.

  12. This is very good advice Giftarist.

  13. Great tips! Grandparent’s have a tougher job than we think

  14. very good advice for grandparents mate, Thanks for sharing mate very well written :)

  15. Thanks for that one ;)

  16. great one

  17. Very good advice. Lumaki nga ako sa grandparents ko, kuya. :) They’re both great and loving.

  18. Very good advice. Lumaki nga ako sa grandparents ko, kuya. :) They’re both great and loving

  19. I don’t know if this is true but grandparents love their grandchildren much more than their own children. :)

  20. I agree with your points. Also there are now more grandparents parenting their grandchildren.

  21. It’s today’s trend I think – that grandparents take care of their grandchildren because of the parents working or for some other reasons.

  22. Grandparents seem to enjoy those times with their grandchildren. Even when the child is terribly hyperactive.

  23. Excellent tips for grandparents whose with their grandchildren.

  24. Nice one for grandparents.

  25. Grandparents need to be respected. So, our children should be educated to respect them.

  26. Good tips for grandparents! :-)

  27. A good post this one cheers

  28. Definitely one of your great posts. You have highlighted all the essentials of being a grandparent parenting the second time around. Write more of these kabayan. :-)

  29. This was a powerfully presented knowledg-based article! Grand parents are victims of the reckless social lives of their own children. In my country, a girl suddenly becomes pregnant at school-she delivers and immediately damps the infant with her mother-after a year again, she is pregnant and repeats the same damping process! This leaves these old folks perpetually engaged in parenting all their lives!

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