Parenting Style: The Authoritarian Style Versus The Unconditional Style

The authoritarian parenting style which has to do with parents setting down specific rules and regulations the children must obey (usually without any input from the children) has come under some serious watch. This has to do with the way the children raised under this style find it difficult to develop individual. This style of parenting practically denies the children of love and affection. There is always a feeling of insecurity among such children.

The question is: which style is better? The authoritarian or the unconditional style? The fact remains that each style has its own good sides as well as the negative sides. The style that offers more positive outcome when it comes to social behavior and development will definitely be the better style.

The authoritarian style clearly defines what should be done and what should not be done by the children. Punishments are also stated in case a child goes against any rule. Such punishments are effectively enforced if need be. The children are usually very obedient. The downside is that they grow in fear and find it difficult to develop their own ideas on issues.

The unconditional style of parenting is one that expects the parent to unconditionally show love and affection to the child irrespective of the way and manner the child behaves. This style plays down on punishment as a means of behavior control. Children are given a lot of room to learn from their mistakes.

In comparing these two styles, one has to consider certain factors of parenting which include: needs, affection and support.

1. Needs. Everybody has needs, children inclusive. When a child’s need is not met, the tendency is for the child to misbehave; a kind of rebellious attitude. When this happens, the parent should concentrate on the cause and not the end result. Parents should always try and identify the needs of the children and meet them to avoid any such resultant bad behavior.

The unconditional style favors giving a child what he/she needs as against punishing the child for the bad behavior that might not have arisen if the need was met in the first place. Authoritarian style focuses on what is expected of the child. Whether the needs are met or not is not important.

2. Affection. Unconditional style does not use achievements or behavior of a child as a basis to show love. The love must be shown unconditionally. Authoritarian style is based on punishment for bad behavior and rewards for good behavior. Children here are always afraid of trying out new things foe fear of failure.

3. Support. Those who favor unconditional parenting style believe that children need support always. Support is constant. It does not depend on behavior or achievements. Authoritarian parenting tends to give support when the child is behaving well. This usually comes in the form of praise.

There have always been arguments for and against each of the parental styles and such debates are not going to end any sooner.

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