My Life

Today wasn’t any different from yesterday.  Sometimes I seem to think that I’m going to loose my mind and I don’t know why.  I find myself frustrated at work more than often.  Maybe it’s because of what I do for a living that’s got me so down these days.  Working out on the water living on a towboat isn’t exactly every man’s dream you know.  Besides work and sleep the only thing I really look forward to after working outside on the barge is surfing the internet or playing games.  Some day I hope that I will be able to stay at home with my three boys and wife. 

You can bet that I wouldn’t be out here on the water for 20 days at a time if I found some other means of supporting my family.  I’ve miss most of my boy’s first moments already.  My youngest is now 2 yrs old.  I have an 8 yr. old that goes to school and a 5 yr. that just started school.  They are growing up too fast.  My wife Carmen is being drove batty it seems from house work and taking care of the boys by her self.  But things are slowly getting better for her I hope.

My mind is telling me every day that I am on this boat to look and search the web for a way out.  For some reason I feel locked up in a cage like a rat.  Triond gives me something to look forward to at times when I feel like writing.  Ultimately I really need to find a job on land that pays the same or more, or a really nice work at home job I could do over the computer, then my kids would surly have more of a father.  The reason I say that is that being out here for 20 days and only home 10 days of the month seems like they have a part time dad.  I would literally give an arm or a leg to be a full time father to them.  If it weren’t for the need of money I would be, and I’m sure I’m not the only one.

Today I’ve had to spend my time fixing my laptop.  The blasted thing started crashing on me.  I think I’ve finally got it patch up now.  Only time will tell on that one.  My computer seems to take some of the edge off as I am always playing Final Fantasy 11 or trying to fix my laptop when it goes down, gets kind of tough sometime as I am not very computer savvy.  Well I take that back I know more about Windows XP now then what some computer software techs know.  I bought my hp back in 2002.

Tonight I have a lot of questions in my head as what to do next.  What could possibly help me get away from the boats?  For now I am still pondering that question.  If you would like to keep up with My Life visit my blog at http://akaeaves4.blogspot.com/ Well I’ll talk some more later, thanks and good night.