Mother Cut That Boy Free, When Should Your Teen Boy Leave Home?

Many parents especially mothers have a hard time when dealing with the prospect of their teenage boy leaving home. But when is the right time to cut those apron strings and wave goodbye?

Many parents especially mothers have a hard time when dealing with the prospect of their teenage boy leaving home. But when is the right time to cut those apron strings and wave goodbye?

Fact; All boys turn into men. Some will reach adult maturity in body and mind much earlier than others.

Some boys will go away into the army and change into men on their journey. Others will go away to University and learn how to deal with living away from their parents whilst still in a safe guided and controlled (up to a point) environment. Others will have taken on further education in the form an Apprenticeship, where they will be earning a decent wage but may still be living at home. 

Whatever route your boy has taken to begin his voyage into the life of a man there will come a time when he leaves home.

What if your boy has turned into a man and is earning a good wage but still shows no sign of leaving?

Do you ask him to leave?

Lets face it most mothers will continue being the mother they were to their pre-teen, even after their pre-teen has turned twenty two!

Is this fair on the relationship between the Father and son?

Having more than one adult male in a household can be the perfect recipe for disaster.

Most Father son relationships go through ups and downs and as the son starts to feel his feet you can get situations of muscle flexing. Just the same as you would between animals. The Father will still be in charge and high up on the hierarchy chart but the son may display signs of behaviour, which are challenging to the Father. The son may disagree with the Fathers views. It doesn’t mean the son is being disrespectful but he is showing evidence that it may be time to let him, encourage him even to spread his wings and live in a place that is his own. With his own set of rules, before the relationship between Father and son becomes damaged. 

So your son has the money to rent a place, an apartment or room in a shared house and he has decided he is going to leave home.

He may be excited about the up and coming adventure and you must let him go ahead and find himself, find the man he is changing into.

It won’t stop you worrying about the fact he has never paid a bill or brought toilet rolls but he will soon find out that running a house takes skill. Skill that means if he doesn’t wash all his plates, glasses and dirty clothes there will come a day when he has non left to use.  He may end up using a sheet of newspaper on a visit to the toilet because he forgot to buy paper toilet rolls but he won’t forget next time. He will learn to pay his bills by direct debit straight from his bank account the first time the electricity goes off when he is in the middle of an important x-box live match.

These things he will learn and they will make him grow and he will learn valuable life lessons. You can always place a note in the bag of food you undoubtedly will pack up for him as he leaves saying… “There will always be a place for you at home son, if ever you do need to come back.”  

Lillyrose © 5/2/11

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  1. Necessary Info…Nice one

  2. A very good article with a lot of truth in it. For some parents, cutting off the umbilical cord is a very hard thing to do, which is dumb if you ask me because eventually their son is going to get married and if he doesn\’t he will end up leaving anyways. These mothers and sometimes father have serious control issues.

  3. a very well written article Lilyrose

  4. Mama’s boys. No Mom just typing on the internet – no not looking at those kinds of pictures!

  5. Really great article. I think it is important for young men to leave home, whether it is going to university of going travelling. It helps them develop their independence

  6. great post.. thanks

  7. My boy is making 18 this March-these are issues to seriously think about!

  8. very thought provoking and well-written article.

  9. Miss Lilly…my wife was willing to let our son go long before I was…I never wanted him to leave home!!! Anyway I better keep this short before I start crying thinking about it!!! I voted that I liked this one, especially for those who might need it!!! Thanks and take care…

  10. Home is where the learning starts, a place of security and development, once these phases have been met, its graduation and application. We do not own our children, we are a mere platform for the next step. Well done.

  11. When parents won’t let their kids go, they suffocate them.

  12. Kids eventually will leave their parents and for a mom like me its going to be scary. The best thing to do is equip them with everything and above all… love. Thanks for this touching post Lisa.

  13. very well written here.
    Over here, boys leave home for army for about 2.5 years, or if they stay in the hostel when they study in university (though most of the time come back during weekends), parents worry for them and usually prepare sumptuous meal whenever they come home. The only time they leave home is when they get married and have their own home (though some still stay with parents).

  14. This is another great topic, if we have not been there we will get there… great piece this cheers

  15. Should have added as a parent cheers

  16. Great post lillyrose, I am already dreading my sons coming to that time and they are only 5 and 3! My nephew has just left home for university at the age of 20. Although my sister did not want him to go, she knew it was time as there were more and more clashes particularly between father and son. But, as you said, he knows there will always be a place for him at home should he want or need it.

  17. Brilliant article Lillyrose I thoroughly enjoyed it even if I am in denial about my children leaving home. Many thanks.

  18. a great piece of work

  19. A nice entry

  20. Most boys have to be pried from the nest by another woman Lilly – they know where they are well off. Washing done and meals cooked, home sweet home, it’s a tough old world out there y’know haha.

  21. Very nice share! I think parents need to let their kids have their freedom!

  22. I feel my role as mother to my son includes teaching him things he will need to know when he leaves, whenever that will be. I will be surprised if my son is still here in five years time, and I am prepared for him to leave within the next year or so. He turns 18 in October this year and once he finishes school, the whole world will be there for him.
    I’ll cry when he goes, but I’ll be proud of him, and I know he has to go.

  23. That was a thought-provoking article. Many mothers are not happy in leaving their teens free.

  24. Mothers have a problem with letting go of all their boy children and not just the teens, the bond is normally very strong and even after marriage develops into jealousy of sorts.

  25. Everybody need personal space, mothers should know and cease to be a nuisance.

  26. Every son will have a time when they have to spread their wings and fly away. What mothers fear are whether they would ever come back or would they fly away forever. Great post to think about Lisa.

  27. Very good post. I see why this article is in the awards catagory. I know exactly what you mean. I have a teen son, the only way they grow, is if Mothers let go. Otherwise there are problems.

  28. Sometimes parents have to let go so that the children can learn to live by themselves. Great share.

  29. This is another excellent share, Lilly. Heartfelt. Well done!

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