Modern Children

Well as you may have guessed, I’m a child too, Infact I’m fourteen.

Growing up was not easy for me, but then again, it was probably no where near as bad as some lives around the world.

I was cursed/gifted with strong intuition and empathy.

I say its a curse because my whole life, I’ve been taking on other peoples problems and burdening myself by making them my own.

When everyones happy, I’m happy. But when someones sad, I’m sad.

I know this may sound weird, but I’ve always thought that I think at a different level than most.

This is because no one seems to understand me and I seem to be on the outside of everything, almost as if monitoring everyones thoughts, feelings, problems yet at the same time, cloaking or hiding my own.

Only when I begin to monitor my own thoughts, feelings, problems do I realise how crap my life is.

Depression also sucked, for more than half my life, I’ve been depressed.

Though, I’m pretty sure I’ve just about grown out of it now. But when I look back at past photos, videos, I find that I never laughed, smiled and that I was just sad and unhappy.

I’ve even thought about when I do have children, how I can let them grow up to be happy.

I’ve always thought I was some people’s guardians, sort of helping them through difficult times and healing them mentally to fight of sickness.
Then I wonder, who the hell helps me, or am I ment to suffer everyones problems alone.

I wonder if there are other kids who, like me.
I wonder how I will turn out when I’m older, will I be really fudged up in the brain?

I don’t think I will be to screwed up, only because I’ve reached the stage where I see no lies, only truth.

The only issue I may have is that I’m also self concious, so I will be weaving in and out of peoples minds to, almost, filter what is being thought about me.

Usually kids are ment to get spoken about behind there backs and everyones happy.
But with me, I’ve shut myself from anyone feeling what I feel. EVEN my family.

Well, I’m not sure if anyone found this interesting or boring. But to be honest, no matter what you think of me now.

It makes me feel so much better, letting out or sharing my thoughts.

Thanks.