Little Johnny is Being Bullied

Another child is in the news spotlight, after being bullied. Michael Brewer, 15, was doused with alcohol and set afire. What is it with bullies attacking with more vengeance and aggression? Many of the attacks, here recently, are brutal.  What ever happened to two kids “duking it out?” In truth, Michael could have been anyone’s child. Although we never want to think about it, bullying is alive and well. We, as parents, need to know what a bully looks like, how he acts, and moves. Learn what to look for in a bully.

A Bully’s Appearance

No, I’m not talking about his blond hair, or how tall he is. A bully may look like the kid next door. He may be extremely popular, with parents that have exceptional job titles.

A bully can also be the opposite and have very few friends. He may appear physically “different,” having problems with his hair, teeth, or weight.

Bullies can be extremely different from one another, one popular and one not. The reasoning behind this? The outside appearance doesn’t make a bully what he is. Remember the old adage,”It’s not about what’s on the outside, but on the inside that matters?” This directly applies to bullies.

Girls have escaped the stereotype of being a bully for quite some time. Now, all you have to do is search for bully video’s to see girls torturing each other. Girls are not immune from being bullied by other girls, which seek approval and acceptance.

A Bully’s Actions

He is often insecure with his own life. He chooses to take the focus off of himself, concentrating on the inadequacy of another child. Many experience problems at home, skillfully staying away as much as possible.

When children are left to raise themselves, it’s a disaster in the making. Mom is too busy, and dad stays drunk.  We can all think of a child that fits into this category.The main ingredient is parents, which are uninvolved or preoccupied.

Bullies are often abused, themselves.  Whether physical or emotional, a bully sees abuse as perfectly fine. If mom is beating me, or calling me names, then it must be the right thing to do.

Another form of abuse a bully may encounter includes the abuse of other children. Often times, children will take out their frustrations on a weaker culprit. He is being bullied, so in turn, he finds another, weaker child. Now, he has two roles: The target and the bully.

How Bullies Move

A bully moves in crowds, seldom found alone. He seeks the approval of his peers, moving about with arrogance and surety. Many hang out with the popular kids, adding to an arsenal of tactics. Hey, at least he isn’t being bullied. Right?

Moving with his buddies, a bully begins to call an unsuspecting child names. This allows him to see if he can get the response he is seeking. Most children, if given the opportunity, will call another child a name from time to time.

An outright bully doesn’t stop there. He moves to the next step- Physical abuse. The unsuspecting child begins to wonder why she is being bullied, when all of a sudden, a little pushing or tapping begins. Nothing extreme, but worse than before.

From here, bullies continue in a downward spiral. As his plans are carried out, the child being bullied “gets it” worse and worse each time. Eventually, the target is in extreme danger.

Like Micheal, many children don’t tell their parents when they’re being bullied. As parents, it’s our job to know the characteristics to look for. If you are waiting on your child to tell you, don’t hold your breath. Do you suspect your child is being bullied? If so, tell him. Discuss a plan of action. I’m sure Micheal, as he clings to life at this very moment, would tell you no one’s child is safe!