Life Planning Problem: What If I Have to Support My Parents?

One of these days you might find yourself taking care of your parents’ and if you are in the midst of raising your own immediate family you might encounter some very difficult issues. This can often put immense strain on the family and you should be prepared for the unknown.  You will be faced with increased responsibility, advancing age and looming mortality.

To properly prepare for life planning problems is to become an expert in the field. Learn all you can about Medicare, Medicaid, nursing homes, home health care, and long-term care insurance. However, rather than just focusing on your own finances, in this case you must become an expert on your parents’ finances. How much of an income do they have? How secure is it? What are their assets? Are they liquid or frozen? What type of health insurance do they have? What will it cover and won’t it cover?

In addition to becoming an expert on elder care issues and your parents’ finances, you may need to help your parents hire other experts to provide the knowledge you lack. These might include an elder care attorney to help set up a Medicaid trust, a caregiver consultant to help arrange home-based health care, and a financial planner with experience working with senior citizens.

In order to learn the details of your parents’ finances and help them hire professionals, you’ll need to work on establishing a trust. Obviously, a parent usually trusts their child but you still could be faced with issues from your parents.

Perhaps the parent is afraid of revealing information to a child’s spouse. Or maybe the parent feels the child is out to take control of the finances. The secret to establishing financial trust with your parent is to paint every one of your questions and actions as being designed to help them. Stress that you’re doing these things for their good, not yours. Bring other siblings into the picture if it will help. Have your parents select their own legal representative if that will make them feel more comfortable. Do whatever you can to make them understand that your goal is their comfort, not your own.

The most important thing you can do for your Mother or Father is to be kind and understanding. They are at your mercy.  Therefore, the longest day you live – do everything you do for them with love and with the utmost respect.