Do you know your spouse? Watch out for the signs that he or she might be leading a double life.
‘I just found out through facebook that my husband of seven years has another family…please advise!’ I just came across this letter and it got me thinking. For how long can a person in a stable relationship keep a secret? I would forgive this lady if she had been a mere mistress or girlfriend for the seven years, but to be married for that long and miss the tell tale signs of a wayward husband is quite unfortunate to say the least. Is he truly your husband?
Men are not good at hiding secrets. Men are not good at leading a double life, it’s only fair to state that sometimes our women tend to overlook our weird behavior or simply take some abnormalities to be the norm when they should be questioning this.
How many times has your so called husband failed to come back home? A normal married home can not be away from his family for more than 24 hours, and no explanation is good enough to excuse this. If many a times he comes home in the wee hours of the night, or fails to come back home several times a week, it is time you smelt a rat. Some of my friends excuse this waywardness in an attempt to hold their families together but I dare say, a man who doesn’t see his wife and or children for such extended periods of life may actually be leading a double life and might as well be having another family.
So he traveled or so you think. He is attending a conference in a far away city, or simply the neighboring country. What trash? How many times a year can such lengthy conferences away from home take place? Wake up from your slumber and smell the coffee while still hot. Do not let these excuses ruin your happiness. You deserve better than a cheat who doesn’t want to take full responsibility but would rather divide his time between two or three women.
He mistreats you. You can’t take it any more but hang on for the sake of the children. His actions show clearly that he is fade up with you and has a better reception elsewhere. Children should never be an excuse in failing to fully open your eyes and undergoing suffering. I am a man and my father is a man therefore I know what am talking about. A man who is seeing another woman tends to neglect his first family with the hope that the problem will solve itself when the first woman realizes that enough is enough and quits. So there you are, waiting for him to realize that he is doing the wrong thing, waiting for him to make amends and return home. You are dead wrong. He will only come back when the second relationship does not work because for him you are his fall back plan. Is that what you want? You have to open your eyes and in most cases these signs are always there from the beginning, but we are often too smitten by love to notice.
One last thing, never marry someone thinking that after marriage they will change and become more responsible. Old habits die hard, and you can’t teach an old dog some new tricks. If you are in a relationship that is yet to be formalized, look out for the danger signs before it’s too late. We don’t hide our other side. Our partners simply decide not to see it.
Published in: Family