It’s Your Child, Not Your Spy

Although today’s topic is nothing new to just about anyone who lives out side a bubble, over the years I have witnessed all types of relationships. From falling in love (which, by the way, is my personal preference) or the end of a marriage, I have watched it all develop and unravel. My main concern in any separation is the children. While the adults bicker about who’s to blame for the problems, the child sits back and places the blame on him/herself. Their world is collapsing around them and now they will have to chose.

Although custody battles can turn into vindictive he says/ she says nonsense for the parents, where’s the child? Perhaps they might be picking up the pieces of his existence that were left shattered in the family home. Savoring the time when they had both parents all the time, now life is dictated upon some paper.

While some parents can find common ground when it comes to the upbringing of their children, I hate to say it, but many continue to bicker and tear down the other parent. Most the time, the child is in the middle, mediating. That would be enough to bring tears to my eyes if I was that child, no they stand strong and take over being the rock.

Desperate to prove love and devotion to both parents, I have seen children spy on the other parent and report back. Even worse, there are children that have been coached on what to say to make the other parent’s life seem great, even if it is horrid. This is not how a child should be raised! They can’t be just a normal kid who goes outside and plays with friends, does well in school, participates in activities, no they get the responsibility of becoming the tattle tail.

There has been a few times when I have witnessed a child being withheld from the non-custodial parent for keeping tabs on the other. Punishing a child for a fight that wasn’t theirs to start with is heartless. These young minds are quick to pick up the mannerisms that they are frequently exposed to. So you quiz your child about visitation, stop to think is this how you wanted to end up? Alone and bitter, now think ahead. You are the role model, grow up please, make face with your ex, and continue your job as parents. Not saying you have to like this person, but deal with them for your children! Remember games are fun, but we’re not talking about the board game Sorry, rather the word. Sorry is a powerful word, but so is manipulation.

For now…