My mother did something that a lot of parents seem to skip doing. Before using spanking, she explained it in a casual setting to me so that when the time came for it to be used I would at least slightly understand.
The first thing my mother did, which I agree with, was wait until I was six years of age to start using spanking as a punishment. In years before she had never been physical at all, using only time outs. But at the age of six, she felt I was old enough to fully understand that when I did something wrong there would be harsher consequences. But how do you explain to a child that spanking will be used on them when they do something wrong and why?
Most parents skip the explanation and just start using spanking all of a sudden. Some parents will tell the child plainly that when they do something wrong they will be spanked for it. But this leaves a huge question in the child’s mind. That question is “why?”. I was lucky to have a mother who actually took out the patience to explain the answer to that question.
When my mom first told me that I was going to start receiving spankings when I did something wrong it wasn’t after I had done something wrong. It was just a normal talk. That is another mistake I have seen many parents make. They don’t explain to the child that spanking will be used until right before they are about to receive one. By this time the child’s mind is already a bundle of nerves, so all they comprehend is “I did something wrong and got my bottom hurt because of it.” It leaves them with a lot of questions, including the big one already mentioned and due to the fact that the new punishment was introduced to them when they were already a bundle of nerves they basically have a nervous breakdown. They no longer have the nerve to ask the questions that are circling around their mind. But as for my mom, she just sat me down and casually explained to me that from there on when I did something wrong I would get a spanking.
I didn’t even know what a spanking was, but just the fact that it was a punishment told me it wasn’t something I wanted to happen. After she explained to me what a spanking meant she asked me did I have any questions. I remember my first question being the one fore mentioned. Her answer was actually pretty simple. She told me that when I disobey her it is like a slap to her face. So in return I would end up getting a slap from her, or rather several slaps, except mine would be on the bottom instead of the face.
I actually agree with what my mother did. It does cross my mind that not every child could be sat down for a talk like that at 6 years old, especially today with all the distractions such as video games, but if possible I think it is great to introduce the punishment to the child in a casual way, and to not use the punishment until explained at an age where they can at least slightly understand what the spanking means. Thank you for reading and informing yourself. Questions and comments are always welcome.
Published in: Family