How to Tell If Your Child is Lying to You

Children lie, they often do it more than we would like and from time to time it can be extremely hurtful to us, especially if we don’t really understand why.

So why do they lie?

There are many reasons why your child will lie to you. The first thing we must discuss is their age. This will play a vital part in understanding why your child will lie to you.

For instance, a child up to the age of five or six will generally lie because they don’t understand what lying is. They see it as a new toy to play around with that can sometimes get them out of a sticky situation if they need to.

They don’t yet have the ability to understand why lying is wrong and that is why it’s imperative for us as parents to teach them why it is wrong-the right way.

Teaching your child that lying is wrong in the wrong way can impact how they lead their lives as adults, particularly when they are at such an impressionable age. We must deal with these issues as delicately as possible to prevent them form becoming more poignant problems in later life.

So what about older children? Why would they lie?

Older children generally have motives for lying. Thy lie because they are unhappy. Because they don’t like something in their lives and see lying as a way for them to rebel against the issue. For some older children lying can quickly become an obsession that allows them to manipulate their own circumstances.

Some children learn to lie to prevent parents from having more stress. Particularly if the child is aware that the parents are going through a divorce or are having financial struggles. Children are extremely perceptive creatures and the majority of the time are acting to protect their parent from further heartache.

How Do We Tell When Our Child id Lying to Us?

There is no one on this planet that knows your child better than you. Generally speaking, if you suspect that something isn’t quite right-it probably isn’t. That is not to say that your child is most definitely lying, they just may have an issue that you can detect.

Most of the time, if you give your child the opportunity to fess up (so to speak), explain that you won’t be angry-but explain that further lying will only anger you, they will tell the truth.

Most children don’t want to lie excessively and given the opportunity will want to find a way out of their mess. If they don’t feel threatened by you they will see you more as their friend and as such will confide in you.

Then you can appropriately deal with the situation. That does not mean that you can’t punish them, but children are generally more afraid of being scalded and frightened even though they know they will be punished.

If you treat your child with respect but punish them at the same time, they will respect you more in the long run.

If your child is adamant that they are telling you the truth but you still don’t believe them, there are other ways to tell if they are lying. Body language goes a long way when trying to read a person.

Here are some things you can try to get the truth out:

1. Change the subject, let it drop and talk about shopping or something irrelevant. An innocent person would want to resolve the issue and try to force the conversation to contest it and express their innocence. A guilty person will feel relieved that the confrontation is over and they are no longer in the spotlight.
2. Watch their behaviour, a guilty person will move around a lot, as though they are uneasy. They will more objects around constantly as though they are never satisfied with the objects position. They will also shift their stance from one leg to the other and may lean an awful lot.
3. A guilty person will find it difficult to look you in the eye for long periods without glancing away momentarily. This is the easiest way to catch out a liar.

How Do We Deal With a Lying Child?

Firstly, you must deal with the child in an appropriate manner for their age. Or instance up to the age of five r six it is satisfactory to inform them that lying is wrong and it is much better to tell the truth.

Explain to them that Mummy is angry because they told a lie and punish them accordingly. Short spells of punishment are better for this age bracket because they don’t have time to forget what they did wrong.