How to Talk to Your Mom About Anything

Having trouble sharing information with your mother?  Would you like a closer relationship?  If so, then you will want to think about ways of communicating with her to get the inner peace that you need.  However, when you prepare to express your concern to your mom, you will want to be mindful of your tone of voice, facial expressions and watch for signs she may give off that may not welcome a conversation at a certain time.  You don’t want to leave from your mother’s presence feeling worse than you came.  Sometimes the timing isn’t right for deep, personal discussions.  Reschedule the talk for a later time if you notice she isn’t interested in talking.

Bring up what concerns you. 

Pick a location that makes you feel comfortable.  Deliver your message in a way that also makes you feel at ease.  This might mean inviting mom to lunch, asking her to meet you somewhere or sending her a email or letter in the mail. 

When speaking to your mom about current issues (especially a mother who is controlling), avoid topics that have caused discourse in the past.  What some mothers will do is start focusing on what sons and daughters did wrong in the past so that they don’t have to address present day issues.  Don’t allow mom to digress.  Always bring the discussion back to the topic at hand.

Recognize signs when mom is getting impatient or irritable. 

When you stop talking, she will either find another topic to talk about, become silent or suddenly become busy.  This doesn’t mean that the discussion is over forever; just pick up where you left off on another day.  If she becomes resistant, stop talking and then find others time to bring it up your concern until you get the answers that you need.  If there is something that you must know, be persistent.  In time your mom or someone else will help you solve your issue.

Ask mom her opinion about something by telling her a similar story that you have read, saw on TV or the Internet. 

Sometimes people feel comfortable talking when they can communicate using other people as examples.  Find out what she thinks about someone else’s concern before you present yours.  However, be advised she may not react to you in the same way that she would about someone else’s problem.