How to Have a Good Relationship with Your Parents

How often do you hear parents complaining that teenagers are rebellious and refuse to listen? As a teenager, how many times have you complained that your parents do not at all understand or are “control freaks?” This article is very important for teenager and parents to build better teenager- parents relationship.

The relationships between parents and teenagers have been worsened. It seems like there is a gap between them as they could hardly communicate well and their conversation always end with argument. What is wrong with this relationship? Who is a culprit behind this dilemma? Is this a reflection of our society nowadays? If so, this is a sad thing. How to overcome this problem?

Well, here are some suggestions for teenagers to have a better relationship with their parents.

  1. We should regard parents as great people as they brought us to this world. They should gain good respect from you.
  2. We have to show our parents that we are disciplined and responsible young people. To do this, we must behave responsibly. We need to act in a more mature manner when carrying out our duties.
  3. Obedience to parents is important. If we listen to our parents and do what they ask us to do, they will not nag us so much.
  4. Return home early, but do not come late at night. Parents get worried when they do not know where their children are, especially if they are out after dark. If you go home late, please inform your parents.
  5. Do not do things that your parents disapprove of. If your parents forbid you to do something, they usually have a reason for it.
  6. Sometimes, you may feel that your parents are being unreasonable. In such cases, instead of shouting back or refusing to do what they ask, it would best if you talk to them about it. That way, your parents will understand how you feel and they will have a chance to explain their side of things.
  7. Treat your parents as good companions. Tell them what you think. Talk to them about your problems. Your parents will be happy to offer their help.
  8. If you know that your parents are doing wrong things, do not shout or scold them. Explain to them in a soft tone. I am sure they are willing to accept a point of view.
  9. Spend at least 30 minutes to chat with your parents. This way, you may strengthen good relationships with your parents.
  10. Do not spoil yourself by being involved in crimes, drugs, alcohol and gambling. This will make your parents refuse to talk to you as parents feel embarrassed when they learn their children are involved in these unhealthy activities.
  11. Always keep in mind that parents are places for you to harbor in your life as they love you so much. In return, we should love them for their time and compassion to bring us up as a healthy person without hoping for any returns.
  12. If your financial situation is good, take good care of your parents’ welfare. Fulfill their basic needs according to your financial status.
  13. To make your parents happy, you do not have to be a great person in this world. Always visit your parents if you do not live with them. Do not abandon or leave your parents alone as they need people to talk to. Love your parents and do not betray them.
  14. Never say bad things towards your parents as this will hurt their feelings.

Having a good relationship with your parents is a two-way thing. If you do your part, your relationship with your parents will improve and you will have fewer arguments with them. You will then notice that your parents are more understanding towards you. We can all work together to build better teenager- parents relationship.

Final Remark

I’ve many comments posted here which deal mostly on the issue around the worst relationship between the parents and the teenagers, so please let me summarize my opinions here.

As a teenager, you’re always taught to say/ share anything with your parents. Even though you’ve a right to say anything, bear in mind that you must make your saying in a respectable manner and in a softened tone. Parents usually can’t tolerate with the child who yells or shout at them, or talk down to them, as this’ll definitely hurt their feelings. Often you can say a lot of things to someone if you remember to phrase it “I feel like” which I think it doesn’t mean to accuse anyone of anything, but just simply stating how you feel. No one prefers someone to point the blame at them, and perhaps the parents just don’t realize how their child feels. Normally, a wise parent wants to know how their child feels and what they think. Well, they’re some parents who could not mask her face quick enough, or read their child’s reaction quickly, and thus they may show their anger.

In any case, as a son or a daughter, we must show our respect to our parents. No matter what mistakes they have made or are making, they are the parents and I am sure they love their children. Some children are harder to relate to than others, and then there are personality conflicts and such.

As a teenager, you need to find healthy ways to let off pressure like journaling, drawing, friends (healthy ones) or sports. Teenagers go through so many different things that when they get home they may not be in the mood to deal with things on the home front. Things may take on monumental proportions because of various pressures at school, etc.

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  1. hi!i’m ikhlass 18 years old from mauritius.my parents were separated when i was the age of 3.my father married to another woman.i love her like my true mom and she takes care of me as if i am her true son and she never compared me to her daughter and every advice she gave me i witnessed that she had always reason.you know,i got many problems concerning my studies and this affected me very much.i left school by myself without looking at any consequences.now i’m taking a course that my parents paid in the beginning of this year.i don’t know,i feel that my parents do not love me anymore as they did before.our atmosphere in the house is very tense with my father etc…i don’t even talk to my parents so much and i am afraid to talk to them as if i’m living in a trauma.please help me.thank you.

  2. This is for commenter no. 1. Many times parents have much on their minds, and do not want to burden their children with such pressures. It could be that they are dealing with something totally unrelated to you, and if you show them that you appreciate the many things that they have done for you, it may open the door for a healthy discussion. I will pray for your resolution.

    Chan, you have created another work of art. Good job. Take care.

  3. Thank you Judy for leaving such good comment.

  4. Hi!Im Naaila 14 years old.When i was littel me and my father were like best budds.But ever since him and my Mom got divorce and him getting married we very distant.I find it EXTREMLY hard to speak to him.He is most selfish than ever now that his married.My mom suffers from deppression becuase he used to beat her up.I want my Mommy and Daddy back.Im a teenager and in this part of my life I need them the most.Like for Ikhlaas,I hardley communicate with my parents.I want an open,trustworthy relationship with my parents.I need help A.S.A.P.Shukran!!!!

  5. Hi I am Gabriella and i am 11 and i have issues with my mom she always makes me do stuff such as when her coffee is right next to her and i am somewhere else and she says Gabby can you go get me my coffee. and recently my parents got divorced and both my father and my mother had a baby and i feel like i am left out all the time like my mom would go get my sister clothes when she has tons of clothes and not get me any why i dont have a large or even medium sized wardrobe and i also get mad and start wrecking my whole room such as ripping pictures up breaking things i even ripped up my baby book sometimes i wish i was never born !!!

  6. Hi Im that girl whos 16 years old. Please help me, okay so me and my parents get along great, but sometimes they just dont get that i have to make my own mistakes, and my older sister left and didnt want anything to do with them. THey say tehy dont or they arent comparing me to her. (she got into alot of stuff) But i feel as i cant breathe anymore im suffocating i dont know what to do. We have good relationship with them. I loovve them with everything i have. but its like when i slip up they say thoes are the same things she did when she left. Then i just got scared and didnt want to be there at the moment so i wanted to stay with some friends but it turned to a huge argument. And noww. it uncomfortable and akward. no doubt i have a good relationship with them and love them just i hate when they bring her up and say thoes things. i know its a fear of theirs when i say thing or do things that she did. But i grew up with her, im a teen, and im going to make some of the same mistakes. But i am NOTHING like her. just i hate when i slip up and say something that she has said that lead to her leaving. Like i said my mom is afraid i will leave like her, and it is a fear of hers. But i dont know what to do anymore. I am a firm christian and believer. but sometimes i just dont know what to do. Please help me. Id loove it. Any advice on getting along with them in that area. Cause other than that we are pretty much good……

  7. I’m Katie and 16 years old from Wellington. Seems like we all have the same problem here. I have two brothers and two sisters and we all live together with my parents. everyone gets along quite well but there isn’t a lot of comunication goin on. like everyone has their own world and nobody cares about others…my dad’s 24/7 busy with his job, mum does all the cookin and cleaning without anyone helpin her and everyone else just spend their time in their rooms except for meals…does anyone know how to break the ice? i really want everyone to start comunicating and spend time together again but seems like all my siblings are going through the dilemma of teenagehood. :{

  8. I usually get along well with my parents because when it comes to the important things in life we share the same understanding. There are obviously a couple things that bother me about them but overall
    I try to get along with them.

  9. Great ideas to follow toward parents at any age. thank you.

  10. Okay, so I’m in college. My parents ask me to give them a summery of what courses I need to take and what my profession will be after I graduate. I did as they asked me to; it was okay till I finished telling them. Once I finished they said many things to me.They asked me if i was even ready for this kind of job and told me that I was not resposible enough. I tried to take it but it was as if they were insulting me. To understand this they are very strict parents and blunt. Once they found out what I would be doing, i was told that I was not resposible enough. Is this a thing to worry about? I’m trying my hardest to become a more responsible person. This is my pet peve.What should I do? Is it only natural for me to want my parents approval or should I not worry about what they have just told me?

  11. I’m 17 and in a very challenging high school, taking the hardest classes, but I have always been sortof lazy and a slacker so I am not really achieving that much even though everyone says I am really smart. I am not motivated because I don’t really worry about anything, the only way I can try to motivate myself is by thinking about my parents, making them happy and proud. Does anyone else use think about their parents to motivate them, and does it work??

  12. bastat kasama mo pamilya mo,be happy dahil anjan sila para sayo.at dahil dun dapat palitan mo yung mga bagay na ginwa sayo ng magulang mo.mahalin mo sila gaya ng pagmamahal na binigay nila syo yun lang.bye bye!!!!!

  13. Hi my name is Kyle. I would like to share my current relationship with my parents: me n my father are doing better hhan we have in along time l. We are finally exchangeing words n getting to know each other. We used to be afraid to talk to each other but we are now opening up to each other. Me n my mom however fight a lot n don’t agree on things. She gets on my nervesSo much. She always needs so much atention n wants everything her way. Also she has my father under her spell. I hate that the most. Hopefully we’ll both grow up someday n let go of things.

  14. im esme .i would like to say that sometimes i feel like my mom and dad never listen to me and that they revolve around my bro and sis .they r always yelling at me and i am the one that always gets blamed and im just to afraid to tell them so anyone got some advice?

  15. Esme, I know Chan will come up with some good advice for you. He is rather wise. I just wanted to tell you that as a parent we are just human and sometimes our frustration at wanting the best for our children causes us to yell at inappropriate times. I used to excuse myself from my children’s presence for 15 minutes when I first got home. I had to deal with people in the work place and then on the subway on my home. This would not always put me in the best of moods. I found that if I relax for just 15 minutes I could come out and address them with a different frame of mind. It worked for them too. They might have not liked what the teacher or a friend said. They had time to rethink it too.

  16. Hi my name is danii and my mom and i dont have a good relationship im 13 and we get into alot of arguments. Today i made her cry And i feel really bad. Im kinda emo and she fond out i cutmyself and she was upset i really need to fiz my relationship wiht my mom please help me out ty

  17. To danii and all readers,

    Here are my suggestions if you’ve missed to read the opinions I put under “final remark”

    As a teenager, you’re always taught to say/ share anything with your parents. Even though you’ve a right to say anything, bear in mind that you must make your saying in a respectable manner and in a softened tone. Parents usually can’t tolerate with the child who yells or shout at them, or talk down to them, as this’ll definitely hurt their feelings. Often you can say a lot of things to someone if you remember to phrase it “I feel like” which I think it doesn’t mean to accuse anyone of anything, but just simply stating how you feel. No one prefers someone to point the blame at them, and perhaps the parents just don’t realize how their child feels. Normally, a wise parent wants to know how their child feels and what they think. Well, they’re some parents who could not mask her face quick enough, or read their child’s reaction quickly, and thus they may show their anger.

    In any case, as a son or a daughter, we must show our respect to our parents. No matter what mistakes they have made or are making, they are the parents and I am sure they love their children. Some children are harder to relate to than others, and then there are personality conflicts and such.

    As a teenager, you need to find healthy ways to let off pressure like journaling, drawing, friends (healthy ones) or sports. Teenagers go through so many different things that when they get home they may not be in the mood to deal with things on the home front. Things may take on monumental proportions because of various pressures at school, etc.

  18. Im 13. and i dont have a good relationship with my mom. i want and im tryimg to have a better relationship with her. I want to tell her im ready for a boyfriend. And that im mature enough to handle. i dont know how to? im want by sunday mornning so i can ask a boy at church out. how can i tell mom that im ready for a boyfriend?

  19. Hi Sarah,

    That’s why you should spend time to communicate with your mom, so that both of you can develop a good relationship. Sometimes, a simple greeting and caring can just help remedy your situation with your mom. You’re too young to have a boy friend, and you should concentrate more on your studies.

    Regards,
    Chan

  20. This was not helpful, what about the parents that do not listen, I am twenty and on my way to move out. But I want a good relationship with them. I am my own person and I cannot and will not be who they want all of the time, they raised me to have opinions and feelings, I will not regret them. But my Mom is not affectionate and laughs at feelings. She claims any feelings makes someone a drama queen. My father refuses to let anyone win a argument or even conversation. If I comment an actor was in a movie, and he believe I am wrong, there is no saying I am right, until he wants to say so. Also, they never apologize, this article makes it seem like teenagers are the problem. The door wings both ways.

  21. To Older Teen,

    Sometimes we have to agree to be able to disagree. We are all unique and that is one of the wonderful things about who we are. Should we all be the same it would be a truly boring place.

    I always told the teens that their opinions were important and to never allow anyone to take the right of choice or thought from them but to express themselves respectfully honoring others rights also. A little time and space may be just what young person and her parents need to understand, value, and respect one another better. We do not need to see eye to eye, but to respect one another’s right to feel differently about topics.

    It could be that the parents are having trouble seeing their “child” as an adult. Perhaps the “child” is having trouble relating to the parents as authority because they are reaching that age when they want to be the one to make their own decisions and wear the title adult. Being an adult in another adult’s home is a challenge, particularly when the other adult does not see them as mature. By accepting responsibility for their own welfare and paying their own way, they will earn the title and respect that comes with adulthood.

  22. i completely agree with you older teen my parents are divorced my mom and i never agree an anything and my dad never wants to help he thinks it is better to leave matters alone if mamma aint happy than no one is happy well that may be true it is also a crock of crap if mamma aint never happy she needs to go and get some help.

  23. Hi I am Destiny and I am living mmy life so skrew all of yalll PEOPLE!!!

  24. Hey im 15 n i want 2 tell mii mom bout diz boy i really like bt idk how 2 tell her bkuz im scared of wat she miqht say/do 2 me…… soooooooooo kan u plz hepl me wit diz plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  25. hi I see you replied to everone elses comments
    so I’m hoping you’ll reply to this too:
    I’m Alison and I don’t have a good relationship
    with parents um my dad found out I did drugs
    and drink today. usually we argue a lot but
    now everytime he looks at my he just looks disappointed
    I’m 16 and I’m actually passing all my classes this sem.
    but do you have any advice on getting our relationship
    back the way it was? thanks. ’cause we don’t talk anymore
    and it’s making me stressed out

  26. Hi some kid,

    In any case, as a son or a daughter, we must show our respect to our parents. No matter what mistakes they have made or are making, they are the parents and I am sure they love their children. Some children are harder to relate to than others, and then there are personality conflicts and such.

    As a teenager, you need to find healthy ways to let off pressure like journaling, drawing, friends (healthy ones) or sports. Teenagers go through so many different things that when they get home they may not be in the mood to deal with things on the home front. Things may take on monumental proportions because of various pressures at school, etc.

  27. Good advices here Chan. Some parents may not be the best but they are parents.

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