How to Encourage Your Kids

Every parent wants their children to be successful, and by focusing on encouraging the efforts the chances are that you are providing the best possible environment for your children to become high achievers in school and in life. Being smart is about the effort and time you spend. The brain and mind develops over time, and success is more likely to follow if children enjoy learning and see challenges as fun and exciting. Intelligence is not fixed and innate; it can be nurtured and developed.

The belief that confidence mixed with ability, or intelligence is a recipe for success is simply not the whole truth. Genius is the result of years of passion, dedication, and hard work, so a genius cultivates the talents and abilities with tremendous effort. Hard work and discipline contributes much more to achievement in school and life than innate intelligence or talent does.

The brain is like a muscle, and the more you train your brain the bigger and more flexible the muscle becomes. The brain gets stronger the more you use it, and learning makes neurons in the brain grow new connections. Teaching kids about exercising the brain and how the brain works and develops, is an excellent way of motivating them to work harder. Also telling your children stories about people who fell in love with music, sport, writing etc and who tried hard and as a result developed amazing skills.

An e mphasis on intelligence and talents make children vulnerable to failure, and they might become afraid to test, try and embrace new challenges. Believing that being smart is everything is a dangerous thing. It is easy to see challenges, mistakes and even the need to make an effort as threats. Children who believe that their talents are inborn tend to prove their gifts over and over again rather than embracing new challenges. They choose activities based on whether or not they will succeed, and this prevents them from developing. Challenges and mistakes are better treated as opportunities to improve and learn.

Expect effort and not achievements from your children. Praising the work that a child puts into a task teaches children to try and to do their best. Telling kids that they are smart, however, might even make them under perform. A smart and intelligent kid does not have to put in an effort. If you are intelligent you will always be intelligent, natural and innate abilities does not disappear, and this approach can eventually lead to failure and disappointments. Praising the specific process the child used to solve the task makes the child focus on the process and actions that lead to success. A more motivated kid with a better self-image is the result.

The key to success is to teach your kids to think of mistakes as problems to be solved. Beliefs about why you have failed are important since it determines the strategies you use. Challenges are opportunities to learn, the effort and the process of learning is the important thing. Mistakes are fascinating, and they provide examples to learn from. Point out and explain why a child was not successful, but make sure that the discussion is something that is at the child’s level. Hard things are fun, and life would be boring if we solved everything at once. However, it is not good with too difficult challenges either. As so much in life, it is about a balance.

However, there is no magic formula, so trying and loving challenges is the best recipe. Encourage the effort and remember that this does not work only with younger children. It is the older children who tries and put in the effort that eventually succeed. A teenager who believes that talents is something that you work on becomes more optimistic, and the mental attitude to school more positive.

Encourage your kids by praising their efforts, not their intelligence. Effort is necessary to grow and master useful skills. Not only for children.