How to Control Your Children – ‘A Father’s Perspective’

Your children are the future of tomorrow and it’s your responsibility as a parent to nurture and evolve their awaiting minds of acceptance. They will ultimately develop their own personality, but if you teach them everything you know already. Hopefully they should have a head start in life. That’s the idea, right?

Children are battling to understand their emotions everyday. Rules of what is right and wrong conflicts their understanding of wants and needs. It’s a hard balance to achieve for a child and it can be very stressful for them to understand. As a parent you should enjoy your children and they should not be a burden to your lifestyle. If you feel they are. Then you need to change.

Investigation and excitement are normally the key elements for your children to start being naughty. Then there are the wants and needs for their desires. Toys and sweets can also cause the big problems. Sound familiar?

So here is a guide to help any parent develop a better understanding towards a growing child’s needs in the 21st century.

Explanation

Some times the best way to resolve any issue is a simple explanation of the truth. Once they understand why this is wrong. They tend to acknowledge your concern. This can work on something that is dangerous like plug sockets, crossing the road, running away, hitting, or biting. The art of explanation is normally powerful to a child and they are able to initiate many conclusion based on your articulate expression.

Negotiation

This is a great way to nurture your child’s developing world of education and behaviour patterns. It can also be seen as a form of bribery, but to be honest it works really well. If there is homework, reading or something that your child needs to do but doesn’t want to, then this can be used.

Example:

“Dad can I go on the computer please?”

“Of course you can son, but I need to sit down with you first, so we can get through your reading and spellings. Is that ok?”

It’s a gesture that provokes your child to do something they don’t want to do. You can use this with many situations. Make sure you use it in the correct way because your child could learn to use this technique on other children or siblings in a negative way. If you witness this then you may be over using it your self as a parent.

Firm Voice

Children will try and stretch and bend the rules all the time. The loud sound of your firm voice can freeze them in their steps. They know if they hear the sound of their names in a strong tone, then they are in the wrong. As a parent you should not be scared to use this technique in a public place.

The Long Stare

Once your children become accustomed to your body language they will know just by looking at you if they are in the wrong. Sometimes all you need to do is give them the long stare. This will make them hesitate and change their mind. The older they get the more they understand the difference between a look of acceptance, concern, or just plain NO.

The naughty step

Does the naughty step really work? It does in now and again. Personally, I think this should only be used if your child continually breaks a rule they know to be wrong. If you over use this method of solitary confinement it becomes useless. The reason for this is because it provokes the parent to become lazy. If you only use it now and again it becomes very powerful, as the child knows they have done something seriously wrong to be standing or sitting on the naughty step.

Ignoring the attention seeker

Children seek attention from their parents all the time. Even negative attention can sometimes fulfill their need for recognition. Being silly, shouting, screaming, pulling faces, slamming doors and going crazy will make the parent react. Sometimes the best thing to do is just ignore it. This action confirms to the child that this type of behaviour is not going to get them attention at all.

Praise

Children spend a lifetime looking up to their parents. You are their heroes. If they do something correct or try hard on something. Praise them. This form of interaction goes along way. How good do you feel when your boss tells you that you have done a great job. Pass this feeling on to your children. It means the world to them.

Their level

Sometimes you need to get down on your knees and hold eye contact on their level. Children spend a long term looking up at you. This simple process lets them feel more comfortable. They can hear and see your instructions more careful. It also gives your children more of an opportunity to interact with you.

Interaction through simple open conversation

Ask your children questions and plenty of them. Keep them thinking. Especially when you’re doing something like shopping, or waiting about. If your children are bored they tend to start playing up. Use words and number games to stimulate them. Try and make it exciting by giving them points.

Exercise

Playing sport or simple games like catch or football is a great way to teach your kids discipline. Sharing, helping, teamwork, and concentration levels are a few compound traits for character building. Children get so much joy out of sport at an early age. Use this to make your life easier as a parent.

Counting

Counting backwards from the number three seems a good technique for many parents. This lets your child know by the time you get to number one and they have not returned from running off or being silly. They will be in trouble.

Play

Spend some time with your children by playing with them. Help them and interact with them at their level of maturity. This time is amazing for both you and your children. There is nothing wrong with loosing yourself in the world of investigation and exploration.