How to be a Good Dad

The only way to describe and fully understand the responsibilities of fathers is to consider what my responsibilities are as a dad. Although my son isn’t born yet, I’ve found myself asking questions like ‘how can I be a good dad?’, ‘will I be able to provide for my son financially, socially and emotionally?’, and ‘will I be good enough?’ People close to me have given me reassuring words such as ‘you’ll make a great dad’, and, ‘your son will be lucky to have you in his life’, but how do they know, how can they be so sure when the event hasn’t quite happened yet? Furthermore, how am I sure? How do I know how to be a good father, when I’ve never had one in my life?

The fact of the matter is that by asking such questions, I am working towards achieving the desired results. By recognising that I am to provide financially, socially and emotionally, I am looking at what I feel are some of my key responsibilities. As a father and indeed any parent, your responsibilities are very much subjective. I could give an extensive list of what responsibilities a father should have, but the fact of the matter is that I can’t do this, due to the subjective nature, and the fact that everyone will have their take on what their specific responsibilities are. On the other hand however, although I do not have access the mind of every father in the world, there are common traits that I’m sure all fathers can identify with. These traits include, wanting the best for your children, wanting them to achieve to the best of their abilities, being there for them whenever you’re needed (or even when they think you’re not) and most importantly providing an unconditional love.

In today’s society, there are a number of ways in which fathers can support their children, each of which will address and identify certain responsibilities. As a father, you will have your own thoughts as to what your specific responsibilities are. However, to achieve them you need to start with addressing yourself, and understanding who you are. Furthermore you need to be able to put your child before yourself, be a positive role model, and protect your child from harm, but at the same time allow them to make their own mistakes, and learn from them. The key word here is ‘nurture’. Children learn through a various number of ways, however observing the behaviour of others is probably the most influential. As a role model, our children learn from us, and our actions. They emulate the favourable behaviour, and the discard the unfavourable. One thing to be aware of however, is that fact that favourable behaviour may not always be seen to be positive, and as a result our children may pick up less favourable traits that we ourselves find to be less beneficial to our lives. Therefore knowing ourselves and how others perceive us, is essential when our children are learning from us both directly and indirectly.

When considering the responsibilities of fathers, we need to remember that we are not perfect, we are human, and that at times we do make mistakes. Knowing that we are not faultless, we can accept the fact that we too are learning alongside our children, and by doing so, we are striving to become better people, better men, and better fathers. Although we may all have different responsibilities, our common responsibility is to be the best dads we can be.