How Single Mothers Can Find a Mate

Happy Children Playing Kids (Photo credit: epSos.de)

Any woman,whether she has children or not can attract a man.  The question is the type.  If you are a single mother through many reasons, which can include outside of Marriage births, it’s up to you to present the correct man within your family.  I was inspired to write this after the recent Bachelorette show.  I don’t watch it but I saw a few episodes and the final clip of her accepting the man of her choice.  She said something strange during the show though to one man that she doubted “I want the man I choose to think of my daughter as the biggest bonus – EVER”.  Tall order, but this is a show and just another Spin to a Show that could be dropping in ratings, I don’t know.  But reality doesn’t have you call the shots so much as being open to possibilities that your demands may not be met that way……..

1.)  What to expect when you’re looking:

 Ladies, if you have a child and want to find love, you have to consider some things.  Not every man wants a ready-made family and every man does not want to be responsible for a child that is not his own.  That’s the reality.  So let some disappointments not discourage you.  You cannot expect every man to desire this.

2.)  It’s you that a man should want:

Don’t be too eager to put your child in situations that involves you and your love interest.  A man and woman dating with a child in the middle can be a turn off.  He is dating you, not your child.  Putting a child on him may seem forced to him.  Two committed people can frolic around with a child, but until then, keep some space on that.

3.)  Mentioning your child:

Your child is a part of you and to not mention your child would seem odd.  Be confident in talking about your child but don’t let it be your primary focus.  Give him a chance to think and ask questions himself.

4.)  Don’t mention expections:

It’s a true fact that if a man wants you, he will be accepting of your child, so relax, and let him get to know the child at his own pace which usually follows him getting to know you.

5.)  Don’t seem eager to merge with him:

All things in good time on this one.  He loves you, he will love your child.  If he wants marriage, he will probably be a great Father.

6.)  Be self-sufficient and independent:

Unless a single mother wants to land on Welfare, she should be one of the hardest working self-sufficient women around.  She may not have a lot of money but people watch how you handle what you have.  Is the child well-nourished and well-dressed?  Is your dwelling place nice?  If this is true, it will be obvious that you are not waiting for anyone to come around and take care of you.

7.)  Don’t speak of the Child’s father unnecessarily and negatively:

When people are together, questions do pop up.  Don’t trash the father of your Child, even if he’s not around. Whatever the situation, Divorce, Outside of Marriage, Widowhood or whatever the case that finds you alone, don’t speak of the father negatively.

8.)  Who comes first:

The child will always come first in your life.  You’re an adult with a child.  You cannot spend nights and long periods of time with your love unless your child is on a vacation or with Parents.  But the idea that the child does always come first should be communicated.

9.)  That Daddy Name:

Don’t ever encourage a child to call your love interest Daddy.  He is not.  This creates a big disappointment to a child if the affair doesn’t last. 

10.)  When he’s around the child:

If he is within your home and so is your child, make sure you follow the same routine that you would if he were not there.  Bathe them, read to them, put them to bed and teach them early on that he is a friend and to be polite.  Don’t exhibit blatant affection. Peace.