How Have Your Parents Influenced the Person You Have Become?
by The Good Vibes Girl on Apr 15, 2009 with 4 Comments
I once read that as a unique blend of our parents, and as part of our life’s journey we are here to continue their work in a spiritually and evolutionary sense. Taking into consideration that at soul level we are all unique as well as collective, that our hereditary traits as well as exposure to social interaction within our family, friends and culture colour who we are.
Image by Korean Resource Center 민족학교 via Flickr
Today during my meditation I considered some of the traits and beliefs I have inherited from my parents and how unconsciously I have tried to balance myself between them, sometimes successfully other times not.
I look at my mother and her spiritual beliefs; she is very open to any experiences, takes everything at face value, is gullible and has a “fluffy” child like attitude to the world. As a result she flits like a butterfly from one thing to another, never staying long enough to really explore and work with one system at a time, quickly becoming bored and frustrated at never finding “it”. My father on the other hand is far more pragmatic, he needs proof and if it’s in black and white, written down before him then all the better. He has no time for any “airy fairy” nonsense. All there is to the world is what you can see, hear, taste, smell and feel with your physical senses. He is very set in his ways and hates anything that challenges his thoughts or beliefs.
How have I developed from this? Well I have always yearned for spiritual knowledge, over the years I have explored many paths. I am open and receptive to new experiences and ways of thought but I take nothing at face value and question everything I am asked to do or believe. I have strived to create a healthy balance between the two extremes and as a result the experiences I have had have built one upon another and have led me to where I am today with a firm foundation beneath me.
In other areas, my mother is very much one to help anyone in need, she tends to put others before herself and as a result ends up worn out, run ragged and resenting the very people she is trying to help. She has turned herself into a martyr and finds it difficult to “do good and leave” always looking for others to notice what a good person she is. If someone is having a problem, she has always had a worse thing happen to her. She always has an opinion and frequently talks over everyone else drowning them out. My father on the other hand is more withdrawn and selfish and usually putting himself first even if it means hurting others. He is willing to help others but not at any risk to himself, physically, emotionally or financially. He only allows others into his life so far before the shutters come down.
From this I have learned the importance of being of service to others but that as a healer it is particularly important to be selfish in a positive way and put my own health and well being first. Only when I am functioning at my best can I give my best to others. I try to help others without becoming emotionally involved, to assist others to find their own answers without imposing my views and experiences on them. I don’t always get it right by any means, and have over the years veered from one extreme to another, but life is one long learning curve and I feel that now I have more insight into both my parents as well as my own path.
I was wondering if others on here have experienced this and how they feel their parents have impacted their lives and have helped to shape the person they have become.
Image by Korean Resource Center 민족학교 via Flickr
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Published in: Family
kate smedley | Apr 15, 2009 | Reply
My parents have totally influenced my life, my mum died when I was very young but my vague memories of her individual style and unwillingness to just blend in have always inspired me. My dad .. well that’s a different and not so positive story for another time. Excellent article.
Allana Calhoun | Apr 15, 2009 | Reply
My mother was a dictator, my father her quiet supporter. I am more like my father – quietly working in the background.
rajeev bhargava | Apr 15, 2009 | Reply
i really enjoyed this article. i agree with you 100%. our parents really do play a vital role in influencing our personalities. it’s so so true that we need to be healthy and fit first, before we are equipped to help others. there’s a famous sayng, “people only respect you if you respect yourself”
Mrs M | Apr 16, 2009 | Reply
I think parents play a role in who we become no matter what. Sometimes we don’t end up anything like our parents, maybe because we didn’t agree with the way they raised us or didnt really believe in their morals. Other times we look up to them and in turn show traits fromt heir personalities.