Government Monitering

I hear some people are really upset about the government monitoring phone calls. But it don’t bother me. In fact I don’t give a flip. My phone calls have been monitored every since I’ve been on the party line. My neighbors do a good job of monitoring everything I say and some that I don’t. I do tell sister to keep her lips zipped about anything she don’t want spread all over the mountain. But you know sister. She don’t listen worth squat.

Government Monitoring

Well, I’ll tell you one thing that don’t worry me none and that’s the government monitoring our telephones calls. My calls have been monitored every since I had my phone put in. We’ve got about sixteen women on our line to monitor my calls. And shoot fire, they are good at it. I tell sister to be careful what she says when she’s on the phone, but does sister listen to a word I say? She don’t listen to squat. I just hate to have these old busy bodies talking and sniggering behind sister’s back. But sister says, let the old buzzards have their fun. It don’t amount to a hill of beans anyway. I will say one good thing about sister. She is a good neighbor. She will run to take one of them old women a mess of peas out of her garden or just do whatever she can. Sister says, we’ll be old one day and we might need somebody to do for us so we might as well do our paying back while we can. And when sisters right, she’s right. Our family don’t like to be beholden to anybody, and that’s a fact.

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I will tell y’all something that I don’t tell everybody. Sometimes I accidentally do pick up the phone when somebody is talking on it. Now I wouldn’t do it purposely, I swear to God, I wouldn’t. But you can hear some right interesting stuff. Like Bessie Millers oldest girl was in the family way and wasn’t even married yet. Now that just rattled my brains. I knew right then it was from staying out late at prayer meetings with that boy Ralph Woods walking her home. Yes, honey, he was walking that girl home late at night all by themselves. And through some of the darkest woods you would ever hope to see. Well, you know how a good looking boy can talk a girl into things she ought not to do. And that’s what he done. I’m pretty sure he did because I know how these boys are. I thought sure we would have a wedding on our hands but it didn’t happen. Ralph joined the army and I didn’t hear any more about that scutter. But now the Miller girl has the prettiest little baby girl you have ever seen.

Not to change the subject but my car has just been giving me fits. If one thing don’t quite working something else does. First it was my lights wouldn’t turn off, then the water pump went out. Next it’s the fan belt. It’s just nickel and diming me to death. Every bit of extra money goes into that car. It’s just like it’s got some kind of chronic disease. I left her setting in the parking lot at WalMart two days in a row, thinking a hard up thief might come and drive her off. I guess no thief was that hard up. Well, anyways, it’s been fun jawing with y’all but I gotta go. I thought I just saw sister and a bunch of her younguns coming up the trail. And lord help me, I gotta keep an eye on those kids. I wish to hell I had a mouth like mama, I would sure as the devil use it on those little jaspers.

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RSSComments: 15  |  Post a Comment
  1. Tulan, that’s another good one. Boy howdy, I don’t know how you keep coming up with them, but keep on doing it. I love reading them. You are really a comedian.

  2. Your article was really interesting. I must admit that I have listened to phone calls. Well, I do not pick up the receiver and listen in on them, but I have overheard conversations on cellphones. Sometimes, the people talk so loud that I cannot help overhearing them.

  3. i enjoyed this article immensely and read it several times before commenting. i loved your accent alot, “y’all.’ it sounds very nice and relaxed. thanks for the lovely share.

  4. I think it is a must

  5. Another interesting article from you, Tulan. Written in a very relaxed manner.

  6. You really have one kind of a sister, don’t you? The government has the right to monitor, after all you and I are the government!

  7. I will call it a sensible work produced in a light mood!

  8. You spell magic to a terrible topic and discuss it wonderfully interesting. Well-done. Great share.

  9. This is such an entertaining read. It takes me back to my childhood when we used to have a party line on our phone. My brothers used to be cheeky and listen in for fun. I was never brave enough.


  10. I did enjoy reading this post. You are one-of-a-thing my friend.

  11. Well, I’m a very private person so this thing bothers me. But this is an entertaining write.

  12. Great article, Tulan, you have given me another good laugh. Keep them coming.

  13. great share! thanks!

  14. good share

  15. nice share! =p

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