I hear some people are really upset about the government monitoring phone calls. But it don’t bother me. In fact I don’t give a flip. My phone calls have been monitored every since I’ve been on the party line. My neighbors do a good job of monitoring everything I say and some that I don’t. I do tell sister to keep her lips zipped about anything she don’t want spread all over the mountain. But you know sister. She don’t listen worth squat.
Well, I’ll tell you one thing that don’t worry me none and that’s the government monitoring our telephones calls. My calls have been monitored every since I had my phone put in. We’ve got about sixteen women on our line to monitor my calls. And shoot fire, they are good at it. I tell sister to be careful what she says when she’s on the phone, but does sister listen to a word I say? She don’t listen to squat. I just hate to have these old busy bodies talking and sniggering behind sister’s back. But sister says, let the old buzzards have their fun. It don’t amount to a hill of beans anyway. I will say one good thing about sister. She is a good neighbor. She will run to take one of them old women a mess of peas out of her garden or just do whatever she can. Sister says, we’ll be old one day and we might need somebody to do for us so we might as well do our paying back while we can. And when sisters right, she’s right. Our family don’t like to be beholden to anybody, and that’s a fact.
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I will tell y’all something that I don’t tell everybody. Sometimes I accidentally do pick up the phone when somebody is talking on it. Now I wouldn’t do it purposely, I swear to God, I wouldn’t. But you can hear some right interesting stuff. Like Bessie Millers oldest girl was in the family way and wasn’t even married yet. Now that just rattled my brains. I knew right then it was from staying out late at prayer meetings with that boy Ralph Woods walking her home. Yes, honey, he was walking that girl home late at night all by themselves. And through some of the darkest woods you would ever hope to see. Well, you know how a good looking boy can talk a girl into things she ought not to do. And that’s what he done. I’m pretty sure he did because I know how these boys are. I thought sure we would have a wedding on our hands but it didn’t happen. Ralph joined the army and I didn’t hear any more about that scutter. But now the Miller girl has the prettiest little baby girl you have ever seen.
Not to change the subject but my car has just been giving me fits. If one thing don’t quite working something else does. First it was my lights wouldn’t turn off, then the water pump went out. Next it’s the fan belt. It’s just nickel and diming me to death. Every bit of extra money goes into that car. It’s just like it’s got some kind of chronic disease. I left her setting in the parking lot at WalMart two days in a row, thinking a hard up thief might come and drive her off. I guess no thief was that hard up. Well, anyways, it’s been fun jawing with y’all but I gotta go. I thought I just saw sister and a bunch of her younguns coming up the trail. And lord help me, I gotta keep an eye on those kids. I wish to hell I had a mouth like mama, I would sure as the devil use it on those little jaspers.
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Published in: Family